....And we're back!
After recent successes with The Warriors and Manhunt 2, I decide to brave another foray into the dreaded Rockstar Game category, with a second pass at Assassin's Creed. I realize that I don't have to do that awful assassination timed mission, instead I can climb a perch and get more of the map opened, which I do (Damn acrophobia in real life makes this part of the game a little unsettling for me) and I see a bunch of citizens in need of rescuing. I run around and hack evil guards harrassing three people, leaving about 15 corpses for the city coroner to analyze. "Ayup. Stabbed." he'll say.
That's a checkmark, basically solving four minor missions, bringing me closer to that fourth victim.
____________________________________________________________________________
I switch over to the Playstation 2, and put Mercenaries in to get a checkmark in the Epic Other category. This is not going to be an easy mission, as I need to take out the King of Clubs. The Intel on this guy shows him to be a slave trading piece of pond scum. Time to take out the trash!
I talk to my CIA contact Buford in the South Korean HQ and get the contract, then I grab a South Korean military vehicile and take four soldiers with me. First I have to blow up three missile silos, apparently the King had a weapons side deal going. There is a nice barricade of North Korean troops waiting for me, I kill a bunch of them, then get into the tank sitting there. Hoo Hah! Killing the rest of the early opposition is a snap with this thing.
I drive my tank towards the missile silos, and BLOW THAT SHIT UP! Now I learn the King of Clubs is on a rooftop nearby. I plow the tank into a wall, and it gets permanently stuck. Whut?
Okay, I get out and run like hell as a barrage of bullets zip by me, and get into a helicopter. I land it on the roof, punch the King of Clubs in the mush, and....I fall off the roof!
I run back, get another helicopter, land that one on the roof, punch the King of Clubs in the mush again, handcuff him this time, I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss.
It's a one person helicopter, I can't use it to get him out of here. Doh! Fortunately the roof scales downwards. I carry him to the edge of it and jump down, taking some damage to my legs and you know where else let's not talk about that right now.
I get into a long truck with a giant missile on top of it. This should be safe! Yee-Hah! I drive like hell as everyone and their mother shoot at me. Good thing I have that missile on the top of my roof, while 800 bullets hit my vehicle.
I drive all the way to the South Korean base, I am disguised by this point as North Korean, so they all open fire at me. I honk the horn, convincing them I am cool beans, and they let me through.
I call for the extraction helicopter. I shove the King of Clubs into it. I pass go. I collect $125,000!
I would be lying if I said I did this on the first try. I did it on the fifth try, learning each aspect of the mission as I died along the way. That's a checkmark! Mission Accomplished. Only one more Club, the Ace, and I move onto the next area of the map. But if this was any indication, that Ace mission is going to be tough as hell. But that's for Round 3. Time to move on.
____________________________________________________________________________
Time for some hack n' slash action. Champions: Return to Arms!
And now, if everyone would bow their heads and sing along if you know the words...
Wipe your eyes!
Make sure the gerbil's fed!
Time for the funeral!
ORC HERO IS DEAD!!
Yee-Aaaaahhh!
Orc Hero will long be remembered. He was the biggest orc of all time. He was grey and nasty and his sword was sheathed in electricity. Cool Beans! The only way I could defeat him was to bravely use the Elven villagers as human shields, while tossing 25 gas potions, 20 Exploding Potions, 22 Fire Potions, and firing about 50 arrows while always staying out of his deadly reach.
In the end, I sacrificed about 50 percent of the village I was asked to save, but my tactic worked. Orc Hero is food for worms. And I got his magic stuff. Biggest axe I ever owned. I will sell this for 2500 gold! Thanks Elf villagers, your sacrifice was definitely worth it. I am the hero!
Now its time to clean up the rest of the orc scrubs in the village, and we can checkmark this sucker. Give me another 30 minutes or so, and the village will be orc free. I am the exterminator!
20 Orcs remaining, the Orc Indicator says. That's not the official name for it, that's what I call it. The Orc Indicator. Yeah, I like it. It has a ring to it. I'll sell you one for only $39.99 so you can tell how many orcs are left in your neighborhood. If you buy one now, we'll throw in a Goblin Indicator absolutely free! Be the envy of your friends! Save your village! Only $39.99. Act now while supplies last!
I murder the 20 orcs. I also loot the rest of the Elf village, gaining another 20,000 in gold pieces from chests scattered around the houses. So, let's see. I have left a littany of corpses behind me. I have sacrificed half of the people I was here to save. I am bankrupting the survivors by taking all of their gold, and I just bought me a nifty, faster speed bow from the shop. That all sounds like the actions of a true warrior born to me!
Next I'll be heading into the forest region. But that's for Round 3. This is a checkmark, folks!
______________________________________________________________________________
Time for some battle mech tactical warfare! I load up Ring of Red in the Playstation 2. The Red Phantom insurgent stole our Prototype 3 Mech in the last mission. Now I have to pursue him to try and regain it. In addition to my A.D.D. riddled main character, I have Ryoko, a wise-cracking Japanese mech pilot, and in the briefing, I'm introduced to two new team members, a straight-shooting Japanese light mech pilot, and an American funny jock type, who has a heavy mech, essentially a missile thrower that's meant to attack at medium to long range.
We head to a destroyed part of Japan for a showdown, and here's where things get real interesting. Apparently, I also have soldier units, and each has a special attack type. They load up their special attack and you have to send them forward to use it, while you are loading up your armaments for your mech. This is a cool feature, and I am really starting to like this game. The grid is a huge area layout with cities and villages. In some of the villages, are new solider units that can be permanently recruited. There are a lot more enemies than us, but they are weaker and so I group my four mechs together and pound on the weaker units one at a time, taking time to rest and regroup after the combats so that I don't get whittled down to nothing.
I have played a lot of tactical combat map type games, so I get the gist of this one in a hurry, and I BLOW THEIR SHIT UP! Unfortunately, there is no sign of the Red Phantom or the Prototype 3, but after I crush the last of their eight mechs, I learn that there is a ship fast approaching the dock. if the Red Phantom gets the mech onto that ship, that'll be all she wrote!
I have to stop that ship, but apparently, that's next mission. See you in Round 3, Red Phantom. That's a checkmark. Almost done with the Shooter category now. Only have Resident Evil 4 on Hard level. Yeah. "Only." First time I tried to get through the opening village, I got ripped to pieces. But I am confident I will form a strategy and clear that bitch. Yes, indeed.
__________________________________________________________________________
Here's where we are on the ol' scoreboard:
MIND TEASERS: 4 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 1
Gabriel Knight - 1
Mahjong Titans - 2
Sherlock Holmes - 2
Spider Solitaire - 2
World Series of Poker - 2
STRATEGY: 4 of 6 defeated
Civilization - 2
Europa Universalis - 1
Gladius - 2
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 1
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 2
SHOOTER: 5 of 6 defeated
Crysis - 2
Fallout 3 - 2
Freedom Fighters - 2
Killzone - 2
Resident Evil 4 - 1
Ring of Red - 2
PURE ACTION: 4 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 2
God of War - 1
Madden Football - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 2
Soul Caliber - 1
SWORD SLASHERS 4 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 2
Dark Cloud - 1
Drakengard - 2
.Hack Infection - 1 (Level Grinding in progress)
Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Shadow of Rome - 2
EPIC - FANTASY 4 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 1
Dragon's Quest 8 - 1
Final Fantasy 12 - 2
Suikoden 3 - 2
Suikoden 4 - 2
Suikoden 5 - 2
EPIC - OTHER GENRES 4 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 2
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 2
Mercenaries - 2
Rogue Galaxy - 1
Star Ocean - 2
Xenosaga - 1 (level grinding in progress)
ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 3 of 6 defeated
Assassin's Creed - 2
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 1 (Pimpin' Ain't Easy!)
Hulk - 1 (Tough Boss Fight!)
Manhunt 2 - 2
The Warriors - 2
Urbz - 1
Monday, September 6, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Update 9/5
The Insanity Project took a weekend sabbatical, proving I do have a life!
Don't fear, my readers, because tomorrow I am off from work, and expecting to play a LOT of video games. Hoo hah!
Don't fear, my readers, because tomorrow I am off from work, and expecting to play a LOT of video games. Hoo hah!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Comments!
For those of you reading the blog, I'd like to encourage you to write comments. This is a goofy blog and it'll be fun for me if there's interaction with my readers. So go ahead and say whatever you feel like. Do eeeet!
Progress 9/4
Well, no progress made today. It's going to be a busy weekend, so likely I won't have time for gaming until Monday. But we'll see how it goes between now and then.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Progress 9/3
I decide to start off this session with Xenosaga. Here is a game that I am really into. The gameplay has been relaxing and fun, the cut scenes are among the best I've ever seen, the storyline is intense and mature, and this is a very long game as well, with a lot of character building features that are unique.
I just defeated two consecutive bosses, and after I heal up in my spaceship headquarters, I realize that there are all kinds of new items to buy. its essential to upgrade your armor in these kinds of games as soon as you can, but my issue is I am almost out of credits.
Fortunately, in this game there is a virtual battle simulator which allows you to replay any level you want to. Its particularly awesome because if you missed any secret items on the level when you were first there, those items will still be available in the simulator to acquire. Nice!
After doing some math, I realize I need around 28000 credits to get everything I want. Plus, my characters are all level 33 and I just barely squeaked past the last boss. I'm thinking my coal for this checkmark will be level grinding, getting everyone up to level 35, getting that money, and upgrading my equipment and battle mechs. Right-O, into the simulator I go.
I choose a level that is extremely long and full of different kinds of enemies. With people and mech enemies, you get experience and money, and some slight power upgrade points. In this game each of your characters has a bunch of different powers, which you can upgrade by earning special "tech points" and "ether points" depending on which brand of powers you are upgrading.
With monster types, you don't get any money, but you get experience and more power point experience as well. So this is a good level for upgrading everything.
Running through this incredible labrynth which has all manner of different areas in it, everything from a sewer system filled with uglies, to a road area with ninja type dudes and mech helicopters, to a forest area with more monsters, its a fun level. By the time I run through it, everybody is level 34, and I've acquired 17000 credits! Nice. I upgrade all of my armor, and call it a session. However, to get that checkmark I'll have to run through this level at least one more time, perhaps two. Level grinding is tedious, but a necessary evil.
Time to move on to another game. I'll continue level grinding this another day.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Time to try my hand at another Rockstar Game: Manhunt 2. In this game, I play a truly psychopathic lunatic, who has escaped from The Project and now I'm on the loose! I'm the good guy!
A flashback episode wherein I start off on a boat with my best friend, Michael. But we're having an arguement that leads to a fight, but then military helicopters arrive, and announce that both of us need to be terminated. Woo! Michael takes off, with the keys to the boat! Why you--!!
Now I have to pursue him, to get those keys. Unfortunately military soldiers pour into the area. Now I have to take out green berets. Joy!
I sneak around a warehouse with press machines. Waiting the shadows, I wait until these dumbasses stand in front of the machine, then I just hurl them in to their doom. Like, the giant puddle of blood all on the machine after the first one wasn't enough to clue in the other three. I guess that's why they nickname 'em Jarheads. I do this to four of them, and then move on.
The next ones need to be dealt a bullet to the brain each, and then I have a situation where I am outside, and have to maneuver around while 5 soldiers march around in their station areas. I manage to get a plastic bag over the head of one and strangle him out, thus killing him silently. Hey, what's that on the ground? A garrote? Convenient! Not for soldier #2 who never saw me coming. I have a shootout with the next three, because subtlety is not my strong suit, and then its into the next building.
A guy yells just after I enter the door, that's a clue, thanks big guy. I shoot him in the head a few times and continue on into the building. There's a big sugar press machine here. I drag the dead body onto it, and hit the on switch. He gets sucked in, and turned into a big bloody cubicle which damages the machine and allows me to enter up the conveyor belt. Funny!
I work my way upwards, until I find Michael. He runs from me, that's the intelligent move, I agree. There are bales of hay on the roof, don't ask me why. Michael has a signal gun that apparently has unlimited flare ammo. He starts shooting at me, and we have a nice fire fight, literally, as we move up to the roof, where I finally hit him with enough bullets to take him down for good. I just killed my best friend to get some keys so I can run away. That's how I roll, I am the hero!
Another helicopter drops off a platoon of angry commandos. Oops. I have to work my way back to the boat, and mostly I do it with some bullets to the chest. Near the boat, there's four commandos waiting for me, and I am low on bullets. Doh. I get killed a few times, but finally I figure out their positioning and eliminate them with 4 bullets to spare.
I get on the boat, I drive away. Mission Complete. Yee-Hah. That's a checkmark. Rockstar games category, I am making a comeback!
____________________________________________________________________________
I load up Suikoden 3 in the Playstation 2. Might as well get the last of the Suikodens for this round out of the way. Well, still have Tactics in the Strategy section, but I rarely tell the truth anyway, so...
I am playing Chris's Story, Chapter 1. (There are 4 main characters, and you see the story unfold from all of their perspectives in different chapters. It is very well done, actually.)
Chris Lightfellow is a kickass Xexen Knight. She's crazy good with her sword, and she's now the replacement captain for the Xexen Knights, who are in the midst of a war against the Six Clans. When last I left off, I had just arrived at Brass Castle, the Knights' headquarters. I upgrade some skills and see the blacksmith about improving my weapon.
I head to the shopping area of the castle, but there is a cut scene involving Dupa, one of the main warriors of the Lizard Clan, one of the Six Clans. He's there to invite us to a peace treaty summit. I CUT OFF HIS HEAD!
No, just kidding. I accept the invitation. I go back to my room, get a good night's sleep. It skips ahead a few days to the summit. We meet other major characters involved with the Six Clans, and we agree to the treaty. Afterwards, something is wrong. The Lizard Clan has attacked our rear flank by surprise. Whut?
We go to the war screen. In this game, you have major battles involving units that your characters lead and are a part of. In different parts of the game, those characters can die if you lose them in a battle. So, you have to be very strategic and careful. This is the first one of the game, so its not too hard. My goal is to make a strategic move to the east, cutting through one of their units there.
I do lose a couple of units full of non-character knights. But I make it through, and we progress to the next cut scene. My characters agree that the only way to save surviving knights that have been cut off, is to attack the Karaya Clan's village nearby. Looks like its time to cut off people's heads! Or it will be, in round three. This is a story progression checkmark. Time to move on.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Here's where we are on the ol' scoreboard:
MIND TEASERS: 4 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 1
Gabriel Knight - 1
Mahjong Titans - 2
Sherlock Holmes - 2
Spider Solitaire - 2
World Series of Poker - 2
STRATEGY: 4 of 6 defeated
Civilization - 2
Europa Universalis - 1
Gladius - 2
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 1
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 2
SHOOTER: 4 of 6 defeated
Crysis - 2
Fallout 3 - 2
Freedom Fighters - 2
Killzone - 2
Resident Evil 4 - 1
Ring of Red - 1
PURE ACTION: 4 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 2
God of War - 1
Madden Football - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 2
Soul Caliber - 1
SWORD SLASHERS 3 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 1 (Hacking Orcs A' Plenty)
Dark Cloud - 1
Drakengard - 2
.Hack Infection - 1 (Level Grinding in progress)
Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Shadow of Rome - 2
EPIC - FANTASY 4 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 1
Dragon's Quest 8 - 1
Final Fantasy 12 - 2
Suikoden 3 - 2
Suikoden 4 - 2
Suikoden 5 - 2
EPIC - OTHER GENRES 3 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 2
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 2
Mercenaries - 1
Rogue Galaxy - 1
Star Ocean - 2
Xenosaga - 1 (level grinding in progress)
ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 2 of 6 defeated
Assassin's Creed - 1
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 1 (Pimpin' Ain't Easy!)
Hulk - 1 (Tough Boss Fight!)
Manhunt 2 - 2
The Warriors - 2
Urbz - 1
I just defeated two consecutive bosses, and after I heal up in my spaceship headquarters, I realize that there are all kinds of new items to buy. its essential to upgrade your armor in these kinds of games as soon as you can, but my issue is I am almost out of credits.
Fortunately, in this game there is a virtual battle simulator which allows you to replay any level you want to. Its particularly awesome because if you missed any secret items on the level when you were first there, those items will still be available in the simulator to acquire. Nice!
After doing some math, I realize I need around 28000 credits to get everything I want. Plus, my characters are all level 33 and I just barely squeaked past the last boss. I'm thinking my coal for this checkmark will be level grinding, getting everyone up to level 35, getting that money, and upgrading my equipment and battle mechs. Right-O, into the simulator I go.
I choose a level that is extremely long and full of different kinds of enemies. With people and mech enemies, you get experience and money, and some slight power upgrade points. In this game each of your characters has a bunch of different powers, which you can upgrade by earning special "tech points" and "ether points" depending on which brand of powers you are upgrading.
With monster types, you don't get any money, but you get experience and more power point experience as well. So this is a good level for upgrading everything.
Running through this incredible labrynth which has all manner of different areas in it, everything from a sewer system filled with uglies, to a road area with ninja type dudes and mech helicopters, to a forest area with more monsters, its a fun level. By the time I run through it, everybody is level 34, and I've acquired 17000 credits! Nice. I upgrade all of my armor, and call it a session. However, to get that checkmark I'll have to run through this level at least one more time, perhaps two. Level grinding is tedious, but a necessary evil.
Time to move on to another game. I'll continue level grinding this another day.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Time to try my hand at another Rockstar Game: Manhunt 2. In this game, I play a truly psychopathic lunatic, who has escaped from The Project and now I'm on the loose! I'm the good guy!
A flashback episode wherein I start off on a boat with my best friend, Michael. But we're having an arguement that leads to a fight, but then military helicopters arrive, and announce that both of us need to be terminated. Woo! Michael takes off, with the keys to the boat! Why you--!!
Now I have to pursue him, to get those keys. Unfortunately military soldiers pour into the area. Now I have to take out green berets. Joy!
I sneak around a warehouse with press machines. Waiting the shadows, I wait until these dumbasses stand in front of the machine, then I just hurl them in to their doom. Like, the giant puddle of blood all on the machine after the first one wasn't enough to clue in the other three. I guess that's why they nickname 'em Jarheads. I do this to four of them, and then move on.
The next ones need to be dealt a bullet to the brain each, and then I have a situation where I am outside, and have to maneuver around while 5 soldiers march around in their station areas. I manage to get a plastic bag over the head of one and strangle him out, thus killing him silently. Hey, what's that on the ground? A garrote? Convenient! Not for soldier #2 who never saw me coming. I have a shootout with the next three, because subtlety is not my strong suit, and then its into the next building.
A guy yells just after I enter the door, that's a clue, thanks big guy. I shoot him in the head a few times and continue on into the building. There's a big sugar press machine here. I drag the dead body onto it, and hit the on switch. He gets sucked in, and turned into a big bloody cubicle which damages the machine and allows me to enter up the conveyor belt. Funny!
I work my way upwards, until I find Michael. He runs from me, that's the intelligent move, I agree. There are bales of hay on the roof, don't ask me why. Michael has a signal gun that apparently has unlimited flare ammo. He starts shooting at me, and we have a nice fire fight, literally, as we move up to the roof, where I finally hit him with enough bullets to take him down for good. I just killed my best friend to get some keys so I can run away. That's how I roll, I am the hero!
Another helicopter drops off a platoon of angry commandos. Oops. I have to work my way back to the boat, and mostly I do it with some bullets to the chest. Near the boat, there's four commandos waiting for me, and I am low on bullets. Doh. I get killed a few times, but finally I figure out their positioning and eliminate them with 4 bullets to spare.
I get on the boat, I drive away. Mission Complete. Yee-Hah. That's a checkmark. Rockstar games category, I am making a comeback!
____________________________________________________________________________
I load up Suikoden 3 in the Playstation 2. Might as well get the last of the Suikodens for this round out of the way. Well, still have Tactics in the Strategy section, but I rarely tell the truth anyway, so...
I am playing Chris's Story, Chapter 1. (There are 4 main characters, and you see the story unfold from all of their perspectives in different chapters. It is very well done, actually.)
Chris Lightfellow is a kickass Xexen Knight. She's crazy good with her sword, and she's now the replacement captain for the Xexen Knights, who are in the midst of a war against the Six Clans. When last I left off, I had just arrived at Brass Castle, the Knights' headquarters. I upgrade some skills and see the blacksmith about improving my weapon.
I head to the shopping area of the castle, but there is a cut scene involving Dupa, one of the main warriors of the Lizard Clan, one of the Six Clans. He's there to invite us to a peace treaty summit. I CUT OFF HIS HEAD!
No, just kidding. I accept the invitation. I go back to my room, get a good night's sleep. It skips ahead a few days to the summit. We meet other major characters involved with the Six Clans, and we agree to the treaty. Afterwards, something is wrong. The Lizard Clan has attacked our rear flank by surprise. Whut?
We go to the war screen. In this game, you have major battles involving units that your characters lead and are a part of. In different parts of the game, those characters can die if you lose them in a battle. So, you have to be very strategic and careful. This is the first one of the game, so its not too hard. My goal is to make a strategic move to the east, cutting through one of their units there.
I do lose a couple of units full of non-character knights. But I make it through, and we progress to the next cut scene. My characters agree that the only way to save surviving knights that have been cut off, is to attack the Karaya Clan's village nearby. Looks like its time to cut off people's heads! Or it will be, in round three. This is a story progression checkmark. Time to move on.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Here's where we are on the ol' scoreboard:
MIND TEASERS: 4 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 1
Gabriel Knight - 1
Mahjong Titans - 2
Sherlock Holmes - 2
Spider Solitaire - 2
World Series of Poker - 2
STRATEGY: 4 of 6 defeated
Civilization - 2
Europa Universalis - 1
Gladius - 2
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 1
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 2
SHOOTER: 4 of 6 defeated
Crysis - 2
Fallout 3 - 2
Freedom Fighters - 2
Killzone - 2
Resident Evil 4 - 1
Ring of Red - 1
PURE ACTION: 4 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 2
God of War - 1
Madden Football - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 2
Soul Caliber - 1
SWORD SLASHERS 3 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 1 (Hacking Orcs A' Plenty)
Dark Cloud - 1
Drakengard - 2
.Hack Infection - 1 (Level Grinding in progress)
Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Shadow of Rome - 2
EPIC - FANTASY 4 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 1
Dragon's Quest 8 - 1
Final Fantasy 12 - 2
Suikoden 3 - 2
Suikoden 4 - 2
Suikoden 5 - 2
EPIC - OTHER GENRES 3 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 2
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 2
Mercenaries - 1
Rogue Galaxy - 1
Star Ocean - 2
Xenosaga - 1 (level grinding in progress)
ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 2 of 6 defeated
Assassin's Creed - 1
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 1 (Pimpin' Ain't Easy!)
Hulk - 1 (Tough Boss Fight!)
Manhunt 2 - 2
The Warriors - 2
Urbz - 1
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Progress 9/2
Here we go again, Mahjong Titans! This time we will try the Crab design. This is one I haven't tried yet.
OH YEAH! I beat you Crab design. Hole in One! What about it! Finally, that's a checkmark. Time to go shoot something.
_____________________________________________________________________________
I decide what I'm going to shoot is bug-eyed aliens, so I put in Fallout 3 in my computer. I am playing through the spaceship add-on. I just got some allies, people cyrogenically frozen. I take the old Wild West gunfighter with me, and we go on a mission to BLOW SHIT UP!
Specifically, one of the three power generators that my allies think will allow us to leave if they are destroyed. Okay, then. We vaporize us some aliens along the way, and then I have to man a wacky station with five buttons. When I hit a button a big tube on the level below releases a charge that vaporizes aliens. Why did they have this in the middle of their own ship? I dunno! But it was there, so I used it as aliens and robot drones charged the area. All I had to do was hit the button corresponding to the tube nearest to the baddies, and they got discharged across the room. Pretty funny, killed about 25 of them this way.
Then we go blow the generator up. This was so short a mission, that I decide to earn a checkmark I need to get a second one. So I go back to our base in the engineering station, and switch out the wild west gunfighter for the space medic guy, who I'll need to bring with me to the cyrogenic lab.
This mission was more difficult, because the gunfighter knew how to take care of himself. While my medic did have a laser gun, he wasn't adept at fighting and he kept getting killed. Since I needed him, every time he got killed I needed to go back to the save game. Needless to say, I saved the game a lot, and it was sloooow going. Damn medic guy!
Every person we unfroze in the lab attacked us immediately. That's gratitude. We came upon this lab where aliens were cutting up other members of his unit. My guy freaks out, and we use their own freezing gas on them. Then we go in there and polish them off. In the next room, we find two more of his guys in pods. He analyzes the situation, and he is able to temporarily save them and they join our team.
We move around to find the generator. Lots of resistance from the aliens, we kill-i-fy them, until both of his buddies fall down dead, which we expected to happen at some point. At least they went down fighting, eh?
We find the generator. WE BLOW THAT SHIT UP.
Checkmark achieved.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I feel like closing things out with Space Empires. A few uneventful turns of moving my ships around, but then one of my escorts gets caught alone by a fleet of those damn aliens who refused my treaties, and THEY BLOW MY SHIT UP.
Sometimes you are the hammer. Sometimes you are the nail.
I am still a novice at this game, but I'm starting to learn the early nuances. I think. We'll see. I open a new colony on medium sized planet. Okay, then.
After a 30 minute session, my hour of playing this game in this round is over. That's a checkmark in the strategy column.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Only 2 days left until the meeting in The Warriors. So far I am 0-3 in attempting to collect a checkmark in this round of Rockstar Game Types. I went down in flames in The Hulk, Assassin's Creed, and GTA: Liberty City. Let's see if gang warfare will be easier.
So this mission I'm taking Rembrandt, Snow, and Cowboy to a train yard, it's time to get our logo ALL CITY. In other words, we're spraypainting subway trains. There's 8 new trains that haven't got a spot on them. We're going to tag those suckers. Too bad the train station is in Moon Runner territory. Looks like I'm going to have to Wreck some people.
Cowboy goes off to locate fresh trains, while Snow watches my back. I tag the first train, then Snow and I have to deal with a bunch of Moon Runners. Good thing these guys are wimps. I WRECK THEM!
I grab some more paint, and head into the next area of the map, where the security guards start covering the grounds in force. I enter the headquarters, and beat the holy hell out of the poor dude just doing his job at the dispatch station. Then I break the radio, cause that's how I roll, me being the hero of the story and all.
Now security can't communicate, so its easier to get around them and to the second train. I Tag it! Yeaaah. Cowboy shows up at the next checkpoint, he's found 4 more trains. He takes off to find the last two fresh ones in the yard. Snow and I run around WRECKING Moon Runners and Rent-A-Cops. They don't get along either so I can often sneak right past as they fight each other. Thanks, Moon Runner guys, for carrying spray paint cans on your bodies for no good reason, so after you get wrecked, I get more paint.
I spray paint those four cars, and then Snow, Cowboy, and I get warned that when we broke the radio, we alerted the actual police to trouble. Oops! Now the place is swarming with tougher cops, and I have two more cars to tag.
We make our way through, WRECKING cops and Moon Runners. Fun, and I never get into as much jeopardy as I thought I would. I tag the last two cars, and we're out of there.
Checkmark Acquired. Finally, on the board in the Rockstar category, truly that's the hardest section of gaming for me.
______________________________________________________________________________
Back to the strategy category, I feel like playing some cards. So I put in World Series of Poker, and I gear up. I have a problem. The next tournament is a big one, the entry fee is 10K. Unfortunately, I only have slightly over 5K in my bankroll, due to <ahem> unfortunate circumstances on the river, or something.
So I go to the cash game option. My checkmark goal will be to get that 10K entry fee in the bank, and Clonie Gowen calls me up and invites me to play in her game, fronting me $1,000. Thanks Clonie!
I saddle up for an intense game. My first twenty hands, I get no real good cards. I am learning that one of the true keys to Poker is patience. Out of those 20 hands, I only play 2. Win one, lose one, end up about even.
That's when some sweet cards start falling into my hand, and I start winning. I'm up to $3500, before "Jesus" Fergusen lays the smackdown on me, for half my stack! Clonie Gowen gets eliminated in that hand, too bad!
I spend the next ten hands waiting for some good cards, and around hand 50, the good ones start showing up again.
I eliminate the "DevilFish" Dave Ulliott, and take a risk to try and eliminate David Williams. Williams has the better hand, I run downhill again for a little while. I have to shove it all in against Jesus. That doesn't sound good. I am down to my last card. Uh oh. and...
I SUCK OUT ON THE RIVER. HOO HAH. TAKE THAT COMPUTER SIMULATIONS OF THE PROS!
Then a pair of jacks falls into my lap, and I use them to excellent effect. After a few more hands of winning, I get myself up to $4,600. I exit the cash game, and have myself a bankroll of slightly over 10K.
Checkmark acquired.
________________________________________________________________________________
Here's where we are on the ol' scoreboard:
MIND TEASERS: 4 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 1
Gabriel Knight - 1
Mahjong Titans - 2
Sherlock Holmes - 2
Spider Solitaire - 2
World Series of Poker - 2
STRATEGY: 4 of 6 defeated
Civilization - 2
Europa Universalis - 1
Gladius - 2
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 1
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 2
SHOOTER: 4 of 6 defeated
Crysis - 2
Fallout 3 - 2
Freedom Fighters - 2
Killzone - 2
Resident Evil 4 - 1
Ring of Red - 1
PURE ACTION: 4 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 2
God of War - 1
Madden Football - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 2
Soul Caliber - 1
SWORD SLASHERS 3 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 1 (Hacking Orcs A' Plenty)
Dark Cloud - 1
Drakengard - 2
.Hack Infection - 1 (Level Grinding in progress)
Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Shadow of Rome - 2
EPIC - FANTASY 3 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 1
Dragon's Quest 8 - 1
Final Fantasy 12 - 2
Suikoden 3 - 1
Suikoden 4 - 2
Suikoden 5 - 2
EPIC - OTHER GENRES 3 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 2
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 2
Mercenaries - 1
Rogue Galaxy - 1
Star Ocean - 2
Xenosaga - 1
ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 1 of 6 defeated
Assassin's Creed - 1
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 1 (Pimpin' Ain't Easy!)
Hulk - 1 (Tough Boss Fight!)
Manhunt 2 - 1
The Warriors - 2
Urbz - 1
OH YEAH! I beat you Crab design. Hole in One! What about it! Finally, that's a checkmark. Time to go shoot something.
_____________________________________________________________________________
I decide what I'm going to shoot is bug-eyed aliens, so I put in Fallout 3 in my computer. I am playing through the spaceship add-on. I just got some allies, people cyrogenically frozen. I take the old Wild West gunfighter with me, and we go on a mission to BLOW SHIT UP!
Specifically, one of the three power generators that my allies think will allow us to leave if they are destroyed. Okay, then. We vaporize us some aliens along the way, and then I have to man a wacky station with five buttons. When I hit a button a big tube on the level below releases a charge that vaporizes aliens. Why did they have this in the middle of their own ship? I dunno! But it was there, so I used it as aliens and robot drones charged the area. All I had to do was hit the button corresponding to the tube nearest to the baddies, and they got discharged across the room. Pretty funny, killed about 25 of them this way.
Then we go blow the generator up. This was so short a mission, that I decide to earn a checkmark I need to get a second one. So I go back to our base in the engineering station, and switch out the wild west gunfighter for the space medic guy, who I'll need to bring with me to the cyrogenic lab.
This mission was more difficult, because the gunfighter knew how to take care of himself. While my medic did have a laser gun, he wasn't adept at fighting and he kept getting killed. Since I needed him, every time he got killed I needed to go back to the save game. Needless to say, I saved the game a lot, and it was sloooow going. Damn medic guy!
Every person we unfroze in the lab attacked us immediately. That's gratitude. We came upon this lab where aliens were cutting up other members of his unit. My guy freaks out, and we use their own freezing gas on them. Then we go in there and polish them off. In the next room, we find two more of his guys in pods. He analyzes the situation, and he is able to temporarily save them and they join our team.
We move around to find the generator. Lots of resistance from the aliens, we kill-i-fy them, until both of his buddies fall down dead, which we expected to happen at some point. At least they went down fighting, eh?
We find the generator. WE BLOW THAT SHIT UP.
Checkmark achieved.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I feel like closing things out with Space Empires. A few uneventful turns of moving my ships around, but then one of my escorts gets caught alone by a fleet of those damn aliens who refused my treaties, and THEY BLOW MY SHIT UP.
Sometimes you are the hammer. Sometimes you are the nail.
I am still a novice at this game, but I'm starting to learn the early nuances. I think. We'll see. I open a new colony on medium sized planet. Okay, then.
After a 30 minute session, my hour of playing this game in this round is over. That's a checkmark in the strategy column.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Only 2 days left until the meeting in The Warriors. So far I am 0-3 in attempting to collect a checkmark in this round of Rockstar Game Types. I went down in flames in The Hulk, Assassin's Creed, and GTA: Liberty City. Let's see if gang warfare will be easier.
So this mission I'm taking Rembrandt, Snow, and Cowboy to a train yard, it's time to get our logo ALL CITY. In other words, we're spraypainting subway trains. There's 8 new trains that haven't got a spot on them. We're going to tag those suckers. Too bad the train station is in Moon Runner territory. Looks like I'm going to have to Wreck some people.
Cowboy goes off to locate fresh trains, while Snow watches my back. I tag the first train, then Snow and I have to deal with a bunch of Moon Runners. Good thing these guys are wimps. I WRECK THEM!
I grab some more paint, and head into the next area of the map, where the security guards start covering the grounds in force. I enter the headquarters, and beat the holy hell out of the poor dude just doing his job at the dispatch station. Then I break the radio, cause that's how I roll, me being the hero of the story and all.
Now security can't communicate, so its easier to get around them and to the second train. I Tag it! Yeaaah. Cowboy shows up at the next checkpoint, he's found 4 more trains. He takes off to find the last two fresh ones in the yard. Snow and I run around WRECKING Moon Runners and Rent-A-Cops. They don't get along either so I can often sneak right past as they fight each other. Thanks, Moon Runner guys, for carrying spray paint cans on your bodies for no good reason, so after you get wrecked, I get more paint.
I spray paint those four cars, and then Snow, Cowboy, and I get warned that when we broke the radio, we alerted the actual police to trouble. Oops! Now the place is swarming with tougher cops, and I have two more cars to tag.
We make our way through, WRECKING cops and Moon Runners. Fun, and I never get into as much jeopardy as I thought I would. I tag the last two cars, and we're out of there.
Checkmark Acquired. Finally, on the board in the Rockstar category, truly that's the hardest section of gaming for me.
______________________________________________________________________________
Back to the strategy category, I feel like playing some cards. So I put in World Series of Poker, and I gear up. I have a problem. The next tournament is a big one, the entry fee is 10K. Unfortunately, I only have slightly over 5K in my bankroll, due to <ahem> unfortunate circumstances on the river, or something.
So I go to the cash game option. My checkmark goal will be to get that 10K entry fee in the bank, and Clonie Gowen calls me up and invites me to play in her game, fronting me $1,000. Thanks Clonie!
I saddle up for an intense game. My first twenty hands, I get no real good cards. I am learning that one of the true keys to Poker is patience. Out of those 20 hands, I only play 2. Win one, lose one, end up about even.
That's when some sweet cards start falling into my hand, and I start winning. I'm up to $3500, before "Jesus" Fergusen lays the smackdown on me, for half my stack! Clonie Gowen gets eliminated in that hand, too bad!
I spend the next ten hands waiting for some good cards, and around hand 50, the good ones start showing up again.
I eliminate the "DevilFish" Dave Ulliott, and take a risk to try and eliminate David Williams. Williams has the better hand, I run downhill again for a little while. I have to shove it all in against Jesus. That doesn't sound good. I am down to my last card. Uh oh. and...
I SUCK OUT ON THE RIVER. HOO HAH. TAKE THAT COMPUTER SIMULATIONS OF THE PROS!
Then a pair of jacks falls into my lap, and I use them to excellent effect. After a few more hands of winning, I get myself up to $4,600. I exit the cash game, and have myself a bankroll of slightly over 10K.
Checkmark acquired.
________________________________________________________________________________
Here's where we are on the ol' scoreboard:
MIND TEASERS: 4 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 1
Gabriel Knight - 1
Mahjong Titans - 2
Sherlock Holmes - 2
Spider Solitaire - 2
World Series of Poker - 2
STRATEGY: 4 of 6 defeated
Civilization - 2
Europa Universalis - 1
Gladius - 2
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 1
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 2
SHOOTER: 4 of 6 defeated
Crysis - 2
Fallout 3 - 2
Freedom Fighters - 2
Killzone - 2
Resident Evil 4 - 1
Ring of Red - 1
PURE ACTION: 4 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 2
God of War - 1
Madden Football - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 2
Soul Caliber - 1
SWORD SLASHERS 3 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 1 (Hacking Orcs A' Plenty)
Dark Cloud - 1
Drakengard - 2
.Hack Infection - 1 (Level Grinding in progress)
Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Shadow of Rome - 2
EPIC - FANTASY 3 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 1
Dragon's Quest 8 - 1
Final Fantasy 12 - 2
Suikoden 3 - 1
Suikoden 4 - 2
Suikoden 5 - 2
EPIC - OTHER GENRES 3 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 2
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 2
Mercenaries - 1
Rogue Galaxy - 1
Star Ocean - 2
Xenosaga - 1
ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 1 of 6 defeated
Assassin's Creed - 1
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 1 (Pimpin' Ain't Easy!)
Hulk - 1 (Tough Boss Fight!)
Manhunt 2 - 1
The Warriors - 2
Urbz - 1
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Progress 9/1
Welcome to the September edition of The Insanity Project! What's changed since yesterday? Nothing! What about it?
I started today's gaming adventures with Final Fantasy 12. When last the snot-nosed punk and my party of unscrupulous thieves left off, we had just rescued my gal-pal in the mines. She's safe, and to get a meeting with the Marques of the city, I run around pretending to be a traitor to the land, of course he's one of my party members anyway.
The ploy works, we get brought to a local tavern by a group of the underground movement, and that lands us a meeting with the Marquis, who is supposedly working against the Empire.
I take the opportunity to go shopping and get myself a nifty new sword. +4 damage from the last one, oooh!
We go to the meeting, but the Marquis isn't helping us after all. He calls for the guard and we're arrested. Back in chains again! That keeps happening in this game. We're transferred to a prison ship where we learn that the resistance leader is actually the Princess of the Empire. Our very own Leia! The stone I stole in the royal vault does a weird-o glowy thing, that apparently proves that the Princess's identity is genuine, thus she won't get hanged, and maybe can help us later. I hope so.
In a nice cut scene, my team beats the crap out of the guards, and one of them is a rebel leader we met in the pub. He joins us. I guess we'll be fighting our way out...next time.
Cause the story has progressed, that's a checkmark. Time to move on.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Onto Shadow of Rome. I am playing Octanavius, great-nephew of the recently assassinated Ceasar. You play two characters in this game, one a cool sword wielding legionairre, and this little cretin who can't fight.
I am taught the basic elements of stealth by an old guy who is thankful to my family for saving his life on a battlefield a long time ago. His elements of stealth could have been a list made by a third grader after playing a few games of Hide-And-Seek. Thanks for the deep knowledge, buddy.
I then went to the Forum, listened to the soldiers there complain about their back wages not being paid, and found two coins on the floor. Now I've got four silver! I'm rich-o-rama!
I leave the Forum and go to the Senate house. After telling a guard in front of a warehouse about the soldiers striking in the Forum, he abandons his post! That's high treason buddy. Oh well, you were only a plot device.
I illegally enter the warehouse, where I go through a tutorial mission about sneaking around as Octavius. It does take me three tries to get all the way through the maze of guards, but then I find a Senator with his back turned reading a book.
I bravely grab a jug off a shelf, and conk him in the head with it. Then I steal the completely innocent man's clothes. I am the hero! Now I can walk right through the guards without an issue. One of them asks me a question. I tell him my name, and keep on walking.
I'm out the door. Now I will be able to enter the Senate House cause I am dressed like one. But that is for next time. Mission Accomplished. That's a checkmark.
_______________________________________________________________________________
I realize I have nothing complete in the Rockstar Games category, and my Playstation 2 needs a rest, so I load up Assassin's Creed in my computer.
I need more information before I can kill the fourth target so I hit up one of my fellow assassination buddies not-so-inconspicuously standing on the top of a staircase. Instead of just giving me the info, he's going to make me kill 2 of HIS four targets on his mission first. You lazy bastard! You think I'm going to do your job for you? Of course I will!
So now I have to kill-i-fy two guards in open space in only 3 minutes. I hate timed missions! Gah.
Apparently they have this stupid rule in this city where you can't murder people in broad daylight. Buffoons! Don't they know who I am? I get swarmed by city guards and the mission is a failure. Apparently I have to follow these dudes around until they end up in convenient spots for me to murder them. In only 3 minutes? What?
I try it three times, and get swarmed by guards each time as I have not been able to locate these dudes quickly enough to kill them in the shadows like you need to. Oh well, we'll come back to this another day when I am feeling more stealthy.
______________________________________________________________________________
I try my hand at GTA: Liberty City Stories. I go see JD, but he's in a leather freak outfit getting it on with some hookers. My Italian mafioso character acts appropriately homophobic for the genre, and after JD changes I get in his van and we rush around the red light district collecting money from all of his hookers. Unfortunately, this is a timed mission and I try this sucker four times without collecting all the money I need. Came very close twice but you have to kill a few pimps who are stealing JD's dough along the way, and those guys can run fast in those purple suits!
I switch gears to go over to Vincenzo's to see what kind of mission he has for me. He wants me to pick up his sports car in Trenton that's full of cocaine to deliver to him. But when I get in the car, cops show up. It's a sting! I try and race out of there, but they cut me off well, and eventually after hitting the wall and the cops a hundred times, I blow up into small bite-size mafioso pieces.
Obviously, hand-eye-coordination is not my forte today. I'll stay away from the Rockstar games types until tomorrow, perhaps, when I'm better rested and my reflexes are on point.
________________________________________________________________________________
Since I am too uncoordinated for the Playstation 2, I have switched gears and decided to try my hand at Oblivion: Elder Scrolls, the longest game in existence, that I know of.
Its so big I have a chart of tasks in its own notebook! According to the chart, its time to head back into the land of Shumagorath, ruled by the Lord of Insanity. We're pals. Hey, this is the Insanity Project, after all.
Its time for me to do a freelance quest in this land, according to the chart. Sorry Shumagorath, your war with the Lord of Order will have to wait until I have collected more gold. Hoo hah! Its all about THIS GUY.
I am going down to the southern part of the land to check out a rumor about a haunted castle called Vitharn. Its a long walk, can't bring my horse into this world, so we're jogging in ultra-heavy armor. Along the way, I get into a bunch of minor skirmishes with tree creature dudes, a giant undead cat thing, and hey, it's one of those goofy Knights of Order. He and I are having a heck of a sword duel when a giant monster thing comes out of the swamp and attacks both of us. Three way war!
AND I AM THE LAST ONE STANDING. YEE-AHH! Hey, this Knight of Order has a sword worth 1500 gold pieces. We'll be keeping that for later. Now, onto the Vitharn!
Holy Crap. There's two armies of ghosts battling each other as I arrive. Its obvious quickly whose side I need to be on, as one of the armies are called Fanatics, and they attack me. The other side doesn't attack me. Maybe I should attack them! Yee-Ahhhh!
I don't attack them. I have to battle the fanatics all around the place, the main door has cool ethereal ghost chains locking it, and a force field. Somebody doesn't want THIS GUY to get in. Bastards! Don't you know I ran all this way in heavy armor????
I find a door in a tree stump. Don't ask. Inside, more fanatic ghost guys, and I find another locked door with ethereal chains. Bah! I keep going and come to an unlocked door, and we go inside. That's where we are. I am heading back in. I wanted to write all of this down before I forgot.
And inside the door we go....
I am immediately met by the lord of the place. He's a ghost! He's dead-o! So is everyone else. Apparently four people screwed the pooch when fanatic enemies came to kill them, and the gate opened and everyone was slaughtered. Sheogorath was po'ed by their cowardice and cursed everybody. Now they have to replay their deaths over and over. Nice one, God of Insanity.
Will I help by changing the actions of the four people who screwed the pooch? What's in it for me? Eh? Eh? He doesn't tell me.
I go about solving the problem. Get the sucker stamp, ready. I am the hero!
So the people who screwed the pooch are an archer who can't get any arrows because the orc dude that is running the armory refuses to give any of the weapons out to people, he thinks they need to stay in the armory. What? Oh right, we're in a land where everyone is insane somehow. Let's keep that in mind.
I put on all of my stealth gear, sneak into the armory, and steal the arrows because that's what I do. I steal things for goodness! I give her the arrows, and now she can fight. She puts an arrow through a dude's eye before she and the rest of the gang are slaughtered again. One problem solved.
Next dude who screwed the pooch is a mage who has a shortage of mana. He needs a magic item to absorb mana from. I find one in his room, a magic dagger. I give it to him. He's all like thanks, now I need to activate it.
And he stabs me! What? You bastard! I'm paralyzed as the fanatics come back, but they ignore me since I'm not a ghost. The mage dude fires off a magic blast and kills one of them before the slaughter continues. Now there's only two of them left. If we can kill those guys, they'll never open the gate and the curse will be lifted.
The third guy's problem stumps me for awhile. His family was killed and now he is obsessed with a doll that he thinks is his beloved. Riiiiiight. I give him the doll and during the fight he runs away to protect her. That was not the solution. Everyone is slaughtered again. I retrieve the doll and give it to one of the fanatics next time they attack. This dude tries to save her, but he and the gang get slaughtered.
Apparently, when the shades vanish so does the doll. This time he resigns himself to the fact that she is gone forever, and he cleaves a dude during the fight. That only leaves one before the gang is once against slaughtered, but another problem solved.
Now I have to return to the lord of the castle. He tells me that he is the fourth guy to screw the pooch. He should have fought on the front line but instead he ran like a coward, and that's why everybody died. He can't do anything about it now because of the curse, but if I wear his magic helmet, the shades will react like I am one of them and attack me, as if I were the lord of the castle. Riiight. Sure, let me take your place and maybe get killed by ghosts for no reason. That sounds like a great idea!
Okay, I'll do it.
I wear the helmet. When the fanatic ghosts come back, I fight the leader in a big bloody duel, and after I beat him, we win and the Lord of the Castle is all like "Thanks, man. Now the curse is lifted and we can rest in peace." I'm all like "Peace out, man." He lets me keep his magic helmet.
It's not as good as the magic helmet I already had. Lame! I will sell it off, though, for decent gold.
Mission Accomplished. That's a checkmark. And since its now after midnight, that's all for this day of game playing.
And the board for Round 2 looks like this:
MIND TEASERS: 2 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 1
Gabriel Knight - 1
Mahjong Titans - 1
Sherlock Holmes - 2
Spider Solitaire - 2
World Series of Poker - 1
STRATEGY: 3 of 6 defeated
Civilization - 2
Europa Universalis - 1
Gladius - 2
Space Empires - 1 (1/2 hour played. 1/2 hour to go until checkmark)
Suikoden Tactics - 1
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 2
SHOOTER: 3 of 6 defeated
Crysis - 2
Fallout 3 - 1
Freedom Fighters - 2
Killzone - 2
Resident Evil 4 - 1
Ring of Red - 1
PURE ACTION: 4 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 2
God of War - 1
Madden Football - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 2
Soul Caliber - 1
SWORD SLASHERS 3 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 1 (Hacking Orcs A' Plenty)
Dark Cloud - 1
Drakengard - 2
.Hack Infection - 1 (Level Grinding in progress)
Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Shadow of Rome - 2
EPIC - FANTASY 3 of 6 Defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 1
Dragon's Quest 8 - 1
Final Fantasy 12 - 2
Suikoden 3 - 1
Suikoden 4 - 2
Suikoden 5 - 2
EPIC - OTHER GENRES 3 of 6 Defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 2
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 2
Mercenaries - 1
Rogue Galaxy - 1
Star Ocean - 2
Xenosaga - 1
ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 0 of 6 defeated
Assassin's Creed - 1
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 1
Hulk - 1 (Tough Boss Fight!)
Manhunt 2 - 1
The Warriors - 1
Urbz - 1
I started today's gaming adventures with Final Fantasy 12. When last the snot-nosed punk and my party of unscrupulous thieves left off, we had just rescued my gal-pal in the mines. She's safe, and to get a meeting with the Marques of the city, I run around pretending to be a traitor to the land, of course he's one of my party members anyway.
The ploy works, we get brought to a local tavern by a group of the underground movement, and that lands us a meeting with the Marquis, who is supposedly working against the Empire.
I take the opportunity to go shopping and get myself a nifty new sword. +4 damage from the last one, oooh!
We go to the meeting, but the Marquis isn't helping us after all. He calls for the guard and we're arrested. Back in chains again! That keeps happening in this game. We're transferred to a prison ship where we learn that the resistance leader is actually the Princess of the Empire. Our very own Leia! The stone I stole in the royal vault does a weird-o glowy thing, that apparently proves that the Princess's identity is genuine, thus she won't get hanged, and maybe can help us later. I hope so.
In a nice cut scene, my team beats the crap out of the guards, and one of them is a rebel leader we met in the pub. He joins us. I guess we'll be fighting our way out...next time.
Cause the story has progressed, that's a checkmark. Time to move on.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Onto Shadow of Rome. I am playing Octanavius, great-nephew of the recently assassinated Ceasar. You play two characters in this game, one a cool sword wielding legionairre, and this little cretin who can't fight.
I am taught the basic elements of stealth by an old guy who is thankful to my family for saving his life on a battlefield a long time ago. His elements of stealth could have been a list made by a third grader after playing a few games of Hide-And-Seek. Thanks for the deep knowledge, buddy.
I then went to the Forum, listened to the soldiers there complain about their back wages not being paid, and found two coins on the floor. Now I've got four silver! I'm rich-o-rama!
I leave the Forum and go to the Senate house. After telling a guard in front of a warehouse about the soldiers striking in the Forum, he abandons his post! That's high treason buddy. Oh well, you were only a plot device.
I illegally enter the warehouse, where I go through a tutorial mission about sneaking around as Octavius. It does take me three tries to get all the way through the maze of guards, but then I find a Senator with his back turned reading a book.
I bravely grab a jug off a shelf, and conk him in the head with it. Then I steal the completely innocent man's clothes. I am the hero! Now I can walk right through the guards without an issue. One of them asks me a question. I tell him my name, and keep on walking.
I'm out the door. Now I will be able to enter the Senate House cause I am dressed like one. But that is for next time. Mission Accomplished. That's a checkmark.
_______________________________________________________________________________
I realize I have nothing complete in the Rockstar Games category, and my Playstation 2 needs a rest, so I load up Assassin's Creed in my computer.
I need more information before I can kill the fourth target so I hit up one of my fellow assassination buddies not-so-inconspicuously standing on the top of a staircase. Instead of just giving me the info, he's going to make me kill 2 of HIS four targets on his mission first. You lazy bastard! You think I'm going to do your job for you? Of course I will!
So now I have to kill-i-fy two guards in open space in only 3 minutes. I hate timed missions! Gah.
Apparently they have this stupid rule in this city where you can't murder people in broad daylight. Buffoons! Don't they know who I am? I get swarmed by city guards and the mission is a failure. Apparently I have to follow these dudes around until they end up in convenient spots for me to murder them. In only 3 minutes? What?
I try it three times, and get swarmed by guards each time as I have not been able to locate these dudes quickly enough to kill them in the shadows like you need to. Oh well, we'll come back to this another day when I am feeling more stealthy.
______________________________________________________________________________
I try my hand at GTA: Liberty City Stories. I go see JD, but he's in a leather freak outfit getting it on with some hookers. My Italian mafioso character acts appropriately homophobic for the genre, and after JD changes I get in his van and we rush around the red light district collecting money from all of his hookers. Unfortunately, this is a timed mission and I try this sucker four times without collecting all the money I need. Came very close twice but you have to kill a few pimps who are stealing JD's dough along the way, and those guys can run fast in those purple suits!
I switch gears to go over to Vincenzo's to see what kind of mission he has for me. He wants me to pick up his sports car in Trenton that's full of cocaine to deliver to him. But when I get in the car, cops show up. It's a sting! I try and race out of there, but they cut me off well, and eventually after hitting the wall and the cops a hundred times, I blow up into small bite-size mafioso pieces.
Obviously, hand-eye-coordination is not my forte today. I'll stay away from the Rockstar games types until tomorrow, perhaps, when I'm better rested and my reflexes are on point.
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Since I am too uncoordinated for the Playstation 2, I have switched gears and decided to try my hand at Oblivion: Elder Scrolls, the longest game in existence, that I know of.
Its so big I have a chart of tasks in its own notebook! According to the chart, its time to head back into the land of Shumagorath, ruled by the Lord of Insanity. We're pals. Hey, this is the Insanity Project, after all.
Its time for me to do a freelance quest in this land, according to the chart. Sorry Shumagorath, your war with the Lord of Order will have to wait until I have collected more gold. Hoo hah! Its all about THIS GUY.
I am going down to the southern part of the land to check out a rumor about a haunted castle called Vitharn. Its a long walk, can't bring my horse into this world, so we're jogging in ultra-heavy armor. Along the way, I get into a bunch of minor skirmishes with tree creature dudes, a giant undead cat thing, and hey, it's one of those goofy Knights of Order. He and I are having a heck of a sword duel when a giant monster thing comes out of the swamp and attacks both of us. Three way war!
AND I AM THE LAST ONE STANDING. YEE-AHH! Hey, this Knight of Order has a sword worth 1500 gold pieces. We'll be keeping that for later. Now, onto the Vitharn!
Holy Crap. There's two armies of ghosts battling each other as I arrive. Its obvious quickly whose side I need to be on, as one of the armies are called Fanatics, and they attack me. The other side doesn't attack me. Maybe I should attack them! Yee-Ahhhh!
I don't attack them. I have to battle the fanatics all around the place, the main door has cool ethereal ghost chains locking it, and a force field. Somebody doesn't want THIS GUY to get in. Bastards! Don't you know I ran all this way in heavy armor????
I find a door in a tree stump. Don't ask. Inside, more fanatic ghost guys, and I find another locked door with ethereal chains. Bah! I keep going and come to an unlocked door, and we go inside. That's where we are. I am heading back in. I wanted to write all of this down before I forgot.
And inside the door we go....
I am immediately met by the lord of the place. He's a ghost! He's dead-o! So is everyone else. Apparently four people screwed the pooch when fanatic enemies came to kill them, and the gate opened and everyone was slaughtered. Sheogorath was po'ed by their cowardice and cursed everybody. Now they have to replay their deaths over and over. Nice one, God of Insanity.
Will I help by changing the actions of the four people who screwed the pooch? What's in it for me? Eh? Eh? He doesn't tell me.
I go about solving the problem. Get the sucker stamp, ready. I am the hero!
So the people who screwed the pooch are an archer who can't get any arrows because the orc dude that is running the armory refuses to give any of the weapons out to people, he thinks they need to stay in the armory. What? Oh right, we're in a land where everyone is insane somehow. Let's keep that in mind.
I put on all of my stealth gear, sneak into the armory, and steal the arrows because that's what I do. I steal things for goodness! I give her the arrows, and now she can fight. She puts an arrow through a dude's eye before she and the rest of the gang are slaughtered again. One problem solved.
Next dude who screwed the pooch is a mage who has a shortage of mana. He needs a magic item to absorb mana from. I find one in his room, a magic dagger. I give it to him. He's all like thanks, now I need to activate it.
And he stabs me! What? You bastard! I'm paralyzed as the fanatics come back, but they ignore me since I'm not a ghost. The mage dude fires off a magic blast and kills one of them before the slaughter continues. Now there's only two of them left. If we can kill those guys, they'll never open the gate and the curse will be lifted.
The third guy's problem stumps me for awhile. His family was killed and now he is obsessed with a doll that he thinks is his beloved. Riiiiiight. I give him the doll and during the fight he runs away to protect her. That was not the solution. Everyone is slaughtered again. I retrieve the doll and give it to one of the fanatics next time they attack. This dude tries to save her, but he and the gang get slaughtered.
Apparently, when the shades vanish so does the doll. This time he resigns himself to the fact that she is gone forever, and he cleaves a dude during the fight. That only leaves one before the gang is once against slaughtered, but another problem solved.
Now I have to return to the lord of the castle. He tells me that he is the fourth guy to screw the pooch. He should have fought on the front line but instead he ran like a coward, and that's why everybody died. He can't do anything about it now because of the curse, but if I wear his magic helmet, the shades will react like I am one of them and attack me, as if I were the lord of the castle. Riiight. Sure, let me take your place and maybe get killed by ghosts for no reason. That sounds like a great idea!
Okay, I'll do it.
I wear the helmet. When the fanatic ghosts come back, I fight the leader in a big bloody duel, and after I beat him, we win and the Lord of the Castle is all like "Thanks, man. Now the curse is lifted and we can rest in peace." I'm all like "Peace out, man." He lets me keep his magic helmet.
It's not as good as the magic helmet I already had. Lame! I will sell it off, though, for decent gold.
Mission Accomplished. That's a checkmark. And since its now after midnight, that's all for this day of game playing.
And the board for Round 2 looks like this:
MIND TEASERS: 2 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 1
Gabriel Knight - 1
Mahjong Titans - 1
Sherlock Holmes - 2
Spider Solitaire - 2
World Series of Poker - 1
STRATEGY: 3 of 6 defeated
Civilization - 2
Europa Universalis - 1
Gladius - 2
Space Empires - 1 (1/2 hour played. 1/2 hour to go until checkmark)
Suikoden Tactics - 1
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 2
SHOOTER: 3 of 6 defeated
Crysis - 2
Fallout 3 - 1
Freedom Fighters - 2
Killzone - 2
Resident Evil 4 - 1
Ring of Red - 1
PURE ACTION: 4 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 2
God of War - 1
Madden Football - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 2
Soul Caliber - 1
SWORD SLASHERS 3 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 1 (Hacking Orcs A' Plenty)
Dark Cloud - 1
Drakengard - 2
.Hack Infection - 1 (Level Grinding in progress)
Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Shadow of Rome - 2
EPIC - FANTASY 3 of 6 Defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 1
Dragon's Quest 8 - 1
Final Fantasy 12 - 2
Suikoden 3 - 1
Suikoden 4 - 2
Suikoden 5 - 2
EPIC - OTHER GENRES 3 of 6 Defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 2
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 2
Mercenaries - 1
Rogue Galaxy - 1
Star Ocean - 2
Xenosaga - 1
ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 0 of 6 defeated
Assassin's Creed - 1
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 1
Hulk - 1 (Tough Boss Fight!)
Manhunt 2 - 1
The Warriors - 1
Urbz - 1
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