9/6 Progress

....And we're back!

After recent successes with The Warriors and Manhunt 2, I decide to brave another foray into the dreaded Rockstar Game category, with a second pass at Assassin's Creed. I realize that I don't have to do that awful assassination timed mission, instead I can climb a perch and get more of the map opened, which I do (Damn acrophobia in real life makes this part of the game a little unsettling for me) and I see a bunch of citizens in need of rescuing. I run around and hack evil guards harrassing three people, leaving about 15 corpses for the city coroner to analyze. "Ayup. Stabbed." he'll say.

That's a checkmark, basically solving four minor missions, bringing me closer to that fourth victim.
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I switch over to the Playstation 2, and put Mercenaries in to get a checkmark in the Epic Other category. This is not going to be an easy mission, as I need to take out the King of Clubs. The Intel on this guy shows him to be a slave trading piece of pond scum. Time to take out the trash!

I talk to my CIA contact Buford in the South Korean HQ and get the contract, then I grab a South Korean military vehicile and take four soldiers with me. First I have to blow up three missile silos, apparently the King had a weapons side deal going. There is a nice barricade of North Korean troops waiting for me, I kill a bunch of them, then get into the tank sitting there. Hoo Hah! Killing the rest of the early opposition is a snap with this thing.

I drive my tank towards the missile silos, and BLOW THAT SHIT UP! Now I learn the King of Clubs is on a rooftop nearby. I plow the tank into a wall, and it gets permanently stuck. Whut?

Okay, I get out and run like hell as a barrage of bullets zip by me, and get into a helicopter. I land it on the roof, punch the King of Clubs in the mush, and....I fall off the roof!

I run back, get another helicopter, land that one on the roof, punch the King of Clubs in the mush again, handcuff him this time, I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss.

It's a one person helicopter, I can't use it to get him out of here. Doh! Fortunately the roof scales downwards. I carry him to the edge of it and jump down, taking some damage to my legs and you know where else let's not talk about that right now.

I get into a long truck with a giant missile on top of it. This should be safe! Yee-Hah! I drive like hell as everyone and their mother shoot at me. Good thing I have that missile on the top of my roof, while 800 bullets hit my vehicle.

I drive all the way to the South Korean base, I am disguised by this point as North Korean, so they all open fire at me. I honk the horn, convincing them I am cool beans, and they let me through.

I call for the extraction helicopter. I shove the King of Clubs into it. I pass go. I collect $125,000!

I would be lying if I said I did this on the first try. I did it on the fifth try, learning each aspect of the mission as I died along the way. That's a checkmark! Mission Accomplished. Only one more Club, the Ace, and I move onto the next area of the map. But if this was any indication, that Ace mission is going to be tough as hell. But that's for Round 3. Time to move on.
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Time for some hack n' slash action. Champions: Return to Arms!
And now, if everyone would bow their heads and sing along if you know the words...

Wipe your eyes!
Make sure the gerbil's fed!
Time for the funeral!
ORC HERO IS DEAD!!

Yee-Aaaaahhh!

Orc Hero will long be remembered. He was the biggest orc of all time. He was grey and nasty and his sword was sheathed in electricity. Cool Beans! The only way I could defeat him was to bravely use the Elven villagers as human shields, while tossing 25 gas potions, 20 Exploding Potions, 22 Fire Potions, and firing about 50 arrows while always staying out of his deadly reach.

In the end, I sacrificed about 50 percent of the village I was asked to save, but my tactic worked. Orc Hero is food for worms. And I got his magic stuff. Biggest axe I ever owned. I will sell this for 2500 gold! Thanks Elf villagers, your sacrifice was definitely worth it. I am the hero!

Now its time to clean up the rest of the orc scrubs in the village, and we can checkmark this sucker. Give me another 30 minutes or so, and the village will be orc free. I am the exterminator!

20 Orcs remaining, the Orc Indicator says. That's not the official name for it, that's what I call it. The Orc Indicator. Yeah, I like it. It has a ring to it. I'll sell you one for only $39.99 so you can tell how many orcs are left in your neighborhood. If you buy one now, we'll throw in a Goblin Indicator absolutely free! Be the envy of your friends! Save your village! Only $39.99. Act now while supplies last!

I murder the 20 orcs. I also loot the rest of the Elf village, gaining another 20,000 in gold pieces from chests scattered around the houses. So, let's see. I have left a littany of corpses behind me. I have sacrificed half of the people I was here to save. I am bankrupting the survivors by taking all of their gold, and I just bought me a nifty, faster speed bow from the shop. That all sounds like the actions of a true warrior born to me!

Next I'll be heading into the forest region. But that's for Round 3. This is a checkmark, folks!
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Time for some battle mech tactical warfare! I load up Ring of Red in the Playstation 2. The Red Phantom insurgent stole our Prototype 3 Mech in the last mission. Now I have to pursue him to try and regain it. In addition to my A.D.D. riddled main character, I have Ryoko, a wise-cracking Japanese mech pilot, and in the briefing, I'm introduced to two new team members, a straight-shooting Japanese light mech pilot, and an American funny jock type, who has a heavy mech, essentially a missile thrower that's meant to attack at medium to long range.

We head to a destroyed part of Japan for a showdown, and here's where things get real interesting. Apparently, I also have soldier units, and each has a special attack type. They load up their special attack and you have to send them forward to use it, while you are loading up your armaments for your mech. This is a cool feature, and I am really starting to like this game. The grid is a huge area layout with cities and villages. In some of the villages, are new solider units that can be permanently recruited. There are a lot more enemies than us, but they are weaker and so I group my four mechs together and pound on the weaker units one at a time, taking time to rest and regroup after the combats so that I don't get whittled down to nothing.

I have played a lot of tactical combat map type games, so I get the gist of this one in a hurry, and I BLOW THEIR SHIT UP! Unfortunately, there is no sign of the Red Phantom or the Prototype 3, but after I crush the last of their eight mechs, I learn that there is a ship fast approaching the dock. if the Red Phantom gets the mech onto that ship, that'll be all she wrote!

I have to stop that ship, but apparently, that's next mission. See you in Round 3, Red Phantom. That's a checkmark. Almost done with the Shooter category now. Only have Resident Evil 4 on Hard level. Yeah. "Only." First time I tried to get through the opening village, I got ripped to pieces. But I am confident I will form a strategy and clear that bitch. Yes, indeed.  
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Here's where we are on the ol' scoreboard:

MIND TEASERS: 4 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 1
Gabriel Knight - 1
Mahjong Titans - 2
Sherlock Holmes - 2
Spider Solitaire - 2
World Series of Poker - 2

STRATEGY: 4 of 6 defeated
Civilization - 2
Europa Universalis - 1
Gladius - 2
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 1
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 2

SHOOTER: 5 of 6 defeated
Crysis - 2
Fallout 3 - 2
Freedom Fighters - 2
Killzone - 2
Resident Evil 4 - 1
Ring of Red - 2

PURE ACTION: 4 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 2
God of War - 1
Madden Football - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 2
Soul Caliber - 1

SWORD SLASHERS 4 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 2
Dark Cloud - 1
Drakengard - 2
.Hack Infection - 1 (Level Grinding in progress)
Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Shadow of Rome - 2

EPIC - FANTASY 4 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 1
Dragon's Quest 8 - 1
Final Fantasy 12 - 2
Suikoden 3 - 2
Suikoden 4 - 2
Suikoden 5 - 2

EPIC - OTHER GENRES 4 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 2
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 2
Mercenaries - 2
Rogue Galaxy - 1
Star Ocean - 2
Xenosaga - 1 (level grinding in progress)

ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 3 of 6 defeated
Assassin's Creed - 2
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 1 (Pimpin' Ain't Easy!)
Hulk - 1 (Tough Boss Fight!)
Manhunt 2 - 2
The Warriors - 2
Urbz - 1