Progress 9/24

Killzone. This game has been my major nemesis this round. I've attempted to clear the current mission 12 times! Each time around, I've ended up with a bullet or six to the brain. Let's give it another shot, shall we?



From right to left: Dopey, Sleepy, Grumpy, and Miley Cyrusy.



The mission begins with me arriving amongst a crowd of my men, and immediately a jet fighter from the enemy cruises past. I run for cover, Mackelroy gets wasted, and then a group of the enemy storm through a broken gate. I offer them Ginger Bread Cookies but they shoot at me. WHY YOU!  We annihilate them.



Nobody disses my Ginger Bread Cookies!



 I grab all of their ammunition, because scavenging is my character's hobby, and charge up a flight of stairs.

There I find a sniper rifle, take it, and eliminate two of the enemy creeping along. Across the way, enemy snipers are setting up and I have to go up another flight of stairs. I have four troopers that join me in this escapade. I will name them Sleepy, Dopey, Grumpy, and Miley Cyrusy. Dwarf Unit, Forwaaaard!

An enemy stupidly runs down the stairs by himself. He receives 9000 bullets from me and the Dwarves.



9000 Bullets does the job, alrighty!

At this point the snipers open up on us. I rush up the stairs, since we can't hit them from this floor. 

There are a couple of enemies up here behind a couple of crates. We take 'em out! The snipers open fire on us and other enemies creep forward on this level from other positions. In the past I tried to shoot back at the snipers and eventually got pegged enough times to get kill-i-fied. This time I rush around eliminating all of the enemies on this level. Sleepy, Dopey, Grumpy, and Miley Cyrussy shoot snipers, yeah team! I run across a bridge and eliminate four of the snipers that way. 

NO! Dopey! Dopey wake up! It's all a bad dream! This can't be happening! DOPEEEEYYY!!

We give Dopey a Viking funeral.

We move on. I rush down a bunch of stairs. There are more enemies down there than I thought. They riddle me full of bullets. AHHHHHHH!!

Me = Dead!

They give me a Viking funeral and move on.

I will clear this level damn it. I did progress farther than ever before, so we're getting there. We're getting there damn it. 

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Enough of that for now. I put in a game I haven't tried this Round, The Warriors.

All of the preliminary material is just about over. I do some push-ups, chin-ups, and sit-ups, and get my stats up to 10 out of 10. Yup. We're ready to rumble now! 


It's finally time for the Big Meeting. This is where the actual movie starts. And the opening sequence is PERFECT! Well executed, Rockstar Games.

I love the movie, so I am marking out. Our nine delegates, who have all been introduced in the missions up to this point, head to the meeting. There are nine delegates from over 100 gangs, and Cyrus, the leader of the Riffs, tells us that we have a numbers edge over the police by the score of 60,000 to 20,000, CAAAN YOU DIIIIG IT?

Luther, leader of the Rogues, apparently does not dig it. He is handed a gun by his gang, and shoots Cyrus in the bread basket. Good one. I'm all about it! We can be friends for life Luther!

He yells "The Warriors did it!" Yeah! The Warriors...er...uh...HEY! WHY YOU! Friendship over Luther! Friendship. Over.   

Police burst in to make the scene even more chaotic, and everybody runs. Cleon, leader of the Warriors in the early part of the game, gets beaten to death by the Riffs. CRAP! 

I take control of the eight Warriors left as we make it to a cemetary nearby. We are deep in A.C. Turnbulls territory. We are deep in something else too.

Now everybody knows what the score is.
Sort of.

The mysterious Deejay lets everybody know that its the Warriors that killed Cyrus. She plays me a special tune. Thanks, what's that babycakes?

"No Where to Run! Nowhere to Hide!"

Gah! Thanks a lot babycakes. Well, we'll see about that. But first, we need to get the hell out of Dodge. Or A.C. Turnbull territory anyhoo.

The Skinheads roll past us in a giant Bonegrinder truck, got to get me one, while we bravely hide. Ajax argues with Swan, he wants to be the new Warlord of the gang. The gang sides with Swan, since Cleon made him War Chief. Alrighty then. And now we run!

But the po-lice show up and blare their sirens! We split up agreeing to meet at the train station.

I end up in control of Swan and with me is Snow, for backup. Now we have to sneak through A.C. Turbull territory!

Yeah! Tool up and be ready! Shave that brain!

As you can see, these dudes is ugly! We sneak around, killing Turnbull scouts. A couple of them get the word out that we're about, bringing in gangs of four of them. We wreck 'em!

I find a spray paint can and a logo, and spray paint over it. Apparently there are 10 of these. I guess spray painting them will give me a bonus or unlock something. Me not care about that!

I find a guy to sell me some health drugs, and buy some from him. After healing up, I grab a pipe wrench and me and Snow hightail it to the next part of the map.

Ajax is cornered by a bunch of A.C. Turnbulls. Snow and I run in and we wreck 'em! Now we're three. Only five more Warriors to locate. We continue through the grid, sneaking and hiding in shadows when necessary, but bopping when possible. Uh, that's seventies gang lingo for fighting, don'tcha know?

After a lot more bopping and wrecking of the A.C. Turnbulls I collect my other five guys, and now the gang is back together. But, the only way to get into the subway is through the A.C. Turnbull headquarters. Ruht Roh!

We enter and start wreckin' skinheads! I slap some sour cream on top and Ajax smashes in with the celerity sticks! That made no sense! I didn't actually do that! It's my blog damn it.

We wreck everybody in the HQ, and now we head towards the subway station. Now the scene from the movie comes back into play, with the A.C. Turnbulls back in their giant person-shredder! We realize we have to make a go of it, and we run like crazy down the street in front of it. I have to continually hit the X button in order to survive this, but then we get into the last, and most dangerous, part of this entire mission:

We bravely run away!

As Swan I have to hop fences and crash through obstacles before getting crush-i-fied by the A.C. Turnbull's big ass car. I hop fences! I break through boxes! I jive to the left! I put my right foot in and shake it all about! I hop over a car, how did I do that?! I finally jump down to safety.

And we run into the subway. VICTORY! We get onto the subway, and relax. We're home free all the way to Coney Island. Yessireebob.

Aw, who am I kidding? I saw the movie...

That's a checkmark!

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MIND TEASERS: 5 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 3
Gabriel Knight - 3
Mahjong Titans - 3
Sherlock Holmes - 2 (Amok in the Black Edelweis. In Sweden, I mean Switzerland!)
Spider Solitaire - 3
World Series of Poker - 3

STRATEGY: 4 of 6 defeated
Civilization 4 - 3
Europa Universalis - 2 (4 months in. BOoooorIIING)
Gladius - 3
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 3
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 3

SHOOTER: 4 of 6 defeated
Crysis - 3
Fallout 3 - 3
Killzone - 2 (Note to self: Stop getting shot in the head.)
Medal Of Honor - European Assault: 3
Ring of Red - 2 (Note to self: It helps a lot if you hit the target)
Star Wars Battlefront - 3

PURE ACTION: 4 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 3
God of War - 3
Gran Turismo 3 -  3
Madden Football - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 2 (In progress: Just kicked the door in on a new location)
Soul Caliber - 3

SWORD SLASHERS - 5 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 3
Dark Cloud - 3
Drakengard - 3
.Hack Infection - 3
 Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 3

EPIC - FANTASY - 5 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 2
Dragon's Quest 8 - 3
Final Fantasy 12 - 3
Suikoden 3 - 3
Suikoden 4 - 3
Suikoden 5 - 3

EPIC - OTHER GENRES 4 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 3
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 3
Mercenaries - 2
Rogue Galaxy - 3
Star Ocean - 3
Xenosaga - 2  (Running through Menopause, I mean Merkabah)

ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 5 of 6
Assassin's Creed - 2
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 3
Hulk: Ultimate Destruction - 3
Manhunt 2 - 3
The Warriors - 3
Urbz - 3

GAMES THAT GOT THE BOOT DUE TO SUCKAGE

SWORD SLASHERS
1) Shadows of Rome

SHOOTERS
1) Freedom Fighters