Progress 9/27

Since my Giants had an awful game against the Titans yesterday, and since its the final game in the Pure Action Category, well, are you ready for some football? It's Madden 08.

We now resume the career of rookie running back Dan Wiggum. I created Wiggum and we're followng his career in Hall of Fame mode. Wiggum was drafted by the Denver Broncos, and we're currently 2-0 after handing defeats to the Buffalo Bills and Oakland Raiders. Next up on the schedule: The Jacksonville Jaguars.

But first we need to go through three days of practice to shore up our skills and prepare for the opponent.

Wiggum's crib is super sweet, cause even rooks get paid more than Obama!



Two-A-Day practices are tough, because you have to get enough points from positive yardage to keep a point total of at least 10 going for the normal practices. I average 9 for the normal practices, and 6 for the special game plan practices. I'm doing mostly draw plays in the special game plan ones, it is hard to break free for major yardage going over the left tackle.

Okay then, we end up with a C grade for our practices. Bah! But now it's game on! Getcher pizza and beer handy. And awaaaay we go! It's a home game, the Jaguars come in 0-2. So they are desperate. Well, as desperate as pixels get, anyway.



I won the toss! I elect to receive. Oh SNAP!



On the first series, I start at my own twenty. Wiggum gets stuffed in his first run! I then proceed to muff a screen pass and we lose seven yards. Oops. I'm not in on the third play, but we don't make the first down. Three-and-Out. We punt. Not a great start for THIS GUY.

Oh, did your pass fall incomplete. Too bad for you!



The Jaguars convert one first down but my defense holds. I don't get to play on defense or special teams, because I am only controlling Dan Wiggum. So I just sit around and watch like a real player would. Sort of.

Second Series: Denver

We drive from our own twenty yard line all the way into the red zone. During this drive Dan Wiggum picks up 57 yards over the course of a few plays. Yeaaah, I'm in the groove now. Can't stop me! Can't stop me!

On first-and-goal from the seven I fumble the ball! Jaguars recover. They stop me! Ugh!

Second Series: Jacksonville

They proceed to march from their seven to their thirty-five. But then, it's a pick! Interception! 

Somebody threw a bad pass. HAHA!

Third Series - Denver

We march it down from the spot of the interception, and Jay Cutler tosses a nice pass into the end zone to Javon Walker for the TOUCHDOWWWWN! Dan Wiggum on the block. So far, I have 68 yards rushing in the first quarter. It's 7-0.



He has no idea he's about to get sacked.



Third Series - Jacksonville

The Jaguars start at their own fifteen after muffing the kickoff. Hahaha! But they march it down the field. Halfway through their series, the first quarter comes to an end.

The Jaguars continue to march it down the field, exposing weaknesses in my secondary and run defense. They get a key third-and-eight that would have forced a punt, and end up kicking a field goal to make the score 7-3.

Denver - 4th Series 7-3
Dan Wiggum is called upon to mostly pass block as we advance the ball from our twenty to mid-field. But we can't do much else from there. We punt!

You look like you are in pain Mr. Leftwich.

Jaguars - 4th Series 7-3

Our punt is a touchback so they start at their own twenty. They drive up for a couple of first downs, but then our defense crushes Byron Leftwich, and he goes out with an injury. They bring in David Garrard who can't do anything this time around. They punt!

Denver - 5th Series 7-3

We start at our own twenty-five. Dan Wiggum has some nice runs, oh yeah! We bring it up to midfield. On second-and-five, Wiggum gets drilled behind the line for a big loss! Doh! Who was supposed to block that guy? Cutler tosses an incomplete pass on third down. We punt!



No sir, you did not convert on third down.



Jacksonville - 5th Series - 7-3

The Jaguars have a long, extended drive. The defense can't seem to guess right between run and pass, and they move it all the way into the red zone. But then, somehow, we hold them!

They kick a field goal. My lead shrinks to 1 point, at 7-6.

Denver - Sixth Series - 7-6

We start off at our own twenty-five and I proceed to get stuffed on first and second down. Pick it up Wiggum, you rook!

Jay Cutler avoids a blitz on third down and hurls a long strike to the wide receiver. TOUCHDOOOOWWN! 14-6!

Jacksonville - 6th Series - 14-6

Byron Leftwich is back in the game. He rears back. Throws. Interception!

Denver - 7th Series - 14-6

We bring it from the Jags thirty where the interception happened, all the way to the four. And I fumble again? What? No, the official in the booth wants to review it. My knee was down! My knee was down! I knews it all the time.

Jay Cutler does some fancy play action and its another TOUCHDOOOWWWN! 21-6! Dan Wiggum with 86 yards rushing in the first half of the game! This is why the Jaguars are 0-2, I guess. Yeah. It's called suckage.

Jacksonville - 7th Series 21-6

They try three pass plays which are nicely defended. Three and out for the suckers from Florida.

Denver - 8th Series - 21-6

We march down the field. Dan Wiggum is not heavily involved because there are only thirty seconds left in the half, so if we're going to do anything, we need long passes. Cutler makes the throws. We get into field goal range with four seconds left in the half. Jason Elam boots it through. We take a 24-6 halftime lead.

Me likeee!

We're winning! We're winning!

In the halftime meeting we decide the important issue of what should go in the blue bowl: Peanut-Flavored M&M's, and what should go in the red bowl: Gummi Bears. We are all happy with this. We leave the locker for the second half.

Jacksonville - 8th Series 24-6

With the Jaguars losing by a bunch of points, they decide to open it up with a long bomb on the second play of the series. It works! The guy runs like 80 yards for a TOUCHDOOOWN! Ack! Wake up defense!

24-13

Ensuing Kickoff -- OUR MAN TAKES IT IN FOR A TOUCHDOOOOWN! So much for your big comeback, suckers! 30-13!

That's putting the 'special' in special teams!



Jacksonville - 9th Series - 30-13

They move the chains a couple of times with mostly a rushing attack. They get called for clipping, that backs them up to a second-and-twenty-two. Byron Leftwich rears back and throws a long bomb. IT'S A TOUCHDOOWWWN! What The?!? We held them to less yardage in the entire first half than in their first four plays of the second half. 30-20!

My defense is falling apart at the seams. And there's nothing I can do, cause I'm Dan Wiggum, rookie halfback. Doh!

All of a sudden, he's Captain America! What the?!?

Denver - 9th Series 30-20

We drive down the field. Dan Wiggum has pickups of 14, 12, and 10 while we also mix in the pass. Wiggum's over 100 yards for the game. Attaboy, rook! After Wiggum makes it first-and-goal at the nine, another running back comes in and blows through the defense for a TOUCHDOOOOOWN!! 38-20!

Jacksonville - 10th Series 38-20

Byron Leftwich runs for his life! We sack his ass! He's down. He's hurt. He's out. He gets carted off. Aloha!David Garrard comes in, and after he leads them to a few short passing plays that lead to a couple of first downs, we sack him too! Finally, the defense is back! They punt!

Denver - 10th Series 38-20. Nearing the end of the third quarter, now. Dan Wiggum fakes a run and the defense buys it! Jay Cutler hurls a 64 yard pass play! Yee-Ahhhh! But, after that, we can't make it happen in the red zone. Elam adds a field goal. 41-20.

To beat us, they would need to score more points in the fourth quarter, than the first three combined. I feel confident!

FOURTH QUARTER

Jacksonville - 11th Series 41-20

The word comes in that Byron Leftwich's wrist is injured, and he'll be out for four weeks. Sorry, dude! Well, not that sorry. And two plays in, we blast David Garrard! He's down. He's out. They scrape him off the field! The third string quarterback enters the game, down by three touchdowns. HAHA!!

Fred Taylor takes the ball, reaches the edge, and cruises down the sideline for a TOUCHDOOOWN! What the hell?!?? No! 41-27.

Denver - 11th Series 41-27

We are in clock management mode. Dan Wiggum gets a lot of carries on this series, as we work it from our twenty to the fifty deliberately, taking a few minutes off the clock. But we're too predictable, and that leads to a punt. This puts them back at their twenty.

Jacksonville - 12th Series 41-27

David Garrard is back for the Jags. We sack him! On the next play, he throws a long bomb the likes of which the real David Garrard could never throw! The Jaguars score another touchdown. Outrageous! It's 41-34 now, and there is still 4:40 left in the game. An eternity.

Denver - 12th Series 41-34

We are still being ultra conservative, trying to take time off the clock. I don't like it with our lead evaporated down to a mere 7 points. They are SO ready for Dan Wiggum, and I get blasted backwards on second down. On third-and-fourteen Jay Cutler scrambles up the middle to convert. But then we go three-and-out from that point, and have to punt. We only took one minute of game clock off, still plenty of time.

Jacksonville - 13th Series 41-34

They miss a completion on third down. With only 2:31 left in the game, on fourth-and-three, the Jaguars opt to punt! Why would you do that, down 7?

Denver - 13th Series 41-34

I want us to run some pass plays but no. Coach wants us to run three consecutive draws from our twelve yard line. They crush Dan Wiggum on both first and second down, and another runner on third down. Their punting strategy worked as they pinned us in our own end, and now with us having to punt, they will start at midfield.

Jacksonville - 14th Series 41-34

David Garrard throws an interception on third down! YEAAAAHH! We're gonna win! We're gonna win!

Denver - 14th Series 41-34

Coach calls for three more draw plays. And Jacksonville still has two timeouts left. They use them, and we don't use much clock, but at least we can put them back on their side of the field. I am not liking the conservative play calling of my offensive coordinator.

Jacksonville 15th Series 41-34

Garrard rears back on second down and hurls another bomb! It's complete! My defenders can't catch the guy. It's a touchdoooowwwwn! NO F'N WAY!!! The Jags come all the way back to tie the score at 41-41 with less than a minute remaining in the game.

This is all a bad dream!



Denver - 15th Series 41-41

We can't do anything with a minute remaining starting at our own twenty. I guess Jay Cutler doesn't have six bombs in him like the Jaguar quarterbacks. Eh?

OVERTIME!!

I win the coin toss, and elect to receive.

Denver - 16th Series 41-41

...And proceed to go three-and-out. We punt! Crap!

Jacksonville - 16th Series

And on the first play, David Garrard hurls another long bomb! It's a TOUCHDOOOOWN! WTF!?! GAME OVER. JAGUARS WIN!

They ended up shredding us for 556 yards through the air. Dan Wiggum ran for 136 yards and it didn't matter, cause our secondary stinks! And guess what, we have Peyton Manning in Indianapolis next game. Gah! They scored 6 points in the first half, 35 in the second, and that does not include the overtime score.

I have a feeling people will be throwing on us from now on. That's a suckmark. I mean, checkmark. The game is advanced. And that completes the third round Pure Action Category.

_____________________________________________________________________

The Scoreboard: Round Three!

MIND TEASERS: 5 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 3
Gabriel Knight - 3
Mahjong Titans - 3
Sherlock Holmes - 2 (Amok in the Black Edelweis. In Sweden, I mean Switzerland!)
Spider Solitaire - 3
World Series of Poker - 3

STRATEGY: 5 of 6 defeated
Civilization 4 - 3
Gladius - 3
Master of Orion: 3
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 3
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 3

SHOOTER: COMPLETE
Crysis - 3
Fallout 3 - 3
Killzone - 3
Medal Of Honor - European Assault: 3
Ring of Red - 3
Star Wars Battlefront - 3

PURE ACTION: COMPLETE
Devil May Cry - 3
God of War - 3
Gran Turismo 3 -  3
Madden Football - 3
Soul Reaver 2 - 3
Soul Caliber - 3

SWORD SLASHERS - 5 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 3
Dark Cloud - 3
Drakengard - 3
.Hack Infection - 3
 Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 3

EPIC - FANTASY - 5 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 2
Dragon's Quest 8 - 3
Final Fantasy 12 - 3
Suikoden 3 - 3
Suikoden 4 - 3
Suikoden 5 - 3

EPIC - OTHER GENRES 4 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 3
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 3
Mercenaries - 2
Rogue Galaxy - 3
Star Ocean - 3
Xenosaga - 2  (Running through Menopause, I mean Merkabah)

ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 5 of 6
Assassin's Creed - 2
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 3
Hulk: Ultimate Destruction - 3
Manhunt 2 - 3
The Warriors - 3
Urbz - 3

GAMES THAT GOT THE BOOT DUE TO SUCKAGE

STRATEGY
1) Europa Universalis III

SWORD SLASHERS
1) Shadows of Rome

SHOOTERS
1) Freedom Fighters