Insomnia is terrible for me in all other phases of my life, but it's great for The Insanity Project! Unable to sleep, I decide to put in The Urbz to get a little Sim action going.
I head over to The Foundry district, and buy a couch for my apartment.
I change into my punk outfit, since you have to dress appropriately for the district you are in, and head over the Central Park. I haven't found a lot of the district clothing stores, that's something I need to do, cause people don't want to be my friends in The Foundry or Hightail Park. Bah! How superficial you people are! It's not about the clothes, its about the man in the clothes, say I!
I go into the club and engage in a fight in the cage! Apparently, I need a better attitude going in to win the fight, so I get my ass pinned to the mat! I'll get you next time, wench from hell! But my Fun meter goes up to high, I bet it did, wrestling that chick.
I won't be able to advance with the jobs anywhere until I increase my skill sets. So, instead I meet Arthur Pop. One of my checklist goals is to befriend this guy, so that I unlock a Social Move. We hang for awhile, and I impress him with my Skateboard Social move! He likes it. After chatting for awhile, Arthur Pop gives me the new Dance Social move.
Thanks Arthur Pop! I head home, and do the basics: Sleep, Eat, shower, empty the bladder, hire a cleaning service, play with the bulldog. I increase my mental stat up to 10, which is as high as it can go with my current Mental Game Thing. I now have to upgrade my mental game thing and my workout bench, and I still haven't found a place to buy the tool to increase my artistic skill, that must be in a district I haven't unlocked yet. There's a lot of those.
I decide its time to get my social up to 65, it's 61 right now, and I call over friends for a PAR-TAY.
Soon after they arrive. It must suck for the janitor dude to be cleaning up my apartment while I am partying simultaneously. Plus I'm paying the company 10 bucks an hour, so he must be cleaning my apartment for like 4 bucks an hour. Dude, get a real job!
I am still wearing my punk rock clothing, apparently I am not supposed to do that here in this better neighborhood. Instead of increasing my social stat, I reduce it down to 59 as this woman in pink has the nerve to tell me to change my clothes, while she's at a party in my apartment! Whut?
I change my clothes. People respond much better to me after that. Weirdness! I'll remember this for future playing sessions.
I compare phones with one chick. Mine is better. She doesn't like it! My rating goes down to 57!
I use a Power Social and whip out a can of party bomb! That puts me back up to 60.
I hang with people and chat them up, and after some more successes with social tricks, I get up to 65.
I unlock a new district, Neon SomethingorOther. Cool!
That constitutes a checkmark. Time to move on!
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**Insanity Project Update**
When I inserted the ancient PC game Freedom Fighters into the mix, I knew instantly that I was making a huge mistake. The game's controls are wonky, the playability is limited due to the severe limitations of the time it was made. It's just not a very good game by today's standards. I added it out of severe desperation to fill a sixth Shooter category slot.
Bah. It's awful, and it's O.U.T.!
Thanks to the contribution of Eric Enright, I have a more than suitable replacement. An excellent game: Medal Of Honor: European Assault for the PS2. It's in! And we're going to start playing it right now.
After creating my profile, there is a great cut scene that sets the tone perfectly, with a narrator talking about how there is nothing good about war, but there is something good about why you fight war. Color me impressed right away with the gritty, mature touch of the opening.
I'm an American soldier on a British boat. We're approaching the shores of conquered France, and we think we've fooled the Germans and will have a clean sail right in. But no, they suddenly launch a full out assault on us. The Brits raise their flag to the top of the sail, and we head in.
I am yelled at to find Captain Britt, who has the communication system. Nobody yells at me like that I say, and shoot my commanding officer in the head!
Okay, I don't. I go to find Captain Britt. There are 80 soldiers in battle against each other on all sides of me! I have to weave in and out, dodging bullets flying everywhere. There's plenty of ammunition and health kit pickups on the ground, and I shoot some Nazi's in the face as I go with my assault rifle.
Yeeaah, I'm liking this game already. Adding it was the right decision!
I find Captain Britt, and now we have to charge back to the boat to make our valiant escape. Cause that's what heroes do. They retreat! There are a bunch of Germans firing at me from behind a crate. I lob a grenade! They eat it! Eat it, Nazi's! They vaporize.
Satisfying. Very satisfying. I take their stuff, which didn't vaporize. Yeaaah. I bravely retreat back onto the ship. Mission Accomplished says the game. Gold Star, says the game. Yeaaaaah.
Yeaaaaaah. Now we're cooking with gas. Buh bye lame PC game from 2003. Hel-lo happy times for THIS GUY.
That's a checkmark. There are only a few sketchy games left on the list. There's a couple in the Strategy section, Europa Universalis and Space Empires, that I am very 'eh' on. The rest of the games on the list are now golden, and I'll play them all through, if I can!
Early tweaking when you try and add 48 games into a system all at once was always going to be necessary! For you Purists that think I should play even the suck games through from start to finish if I moronically add them in, well, Eat it! Lame games will get the BOOT.
THE BOOT!
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Time for some Maritime Fun with Suikoden 4. This game takes place on sea ships, which is different from the others. The storyline has not yet begun, its just been preliminary missions to build up the characters.
The two main characters have been my primary guy, who I named Al. I know, shockingly creative that eh? Snowe is the other main character. We're best friends and he's the superior officer because his dad is the political bigwig in the town.
We're on our first missions, which basically entail us going back and forth between the home base in Razril, and Middleport, a small island near us. It's been quite dull, as we face off every twenty-two seconds against Dirty Fishmen and Giant Seaweed. Ooh, scary!
With two of the other characters Jewel and Paula, along for the ride. This is Suikoden so eventually I will have 108 characters, 60 of which will be playable in combat. We're all up to level 10, so the automatic grinding going on has been worthwhile in that regard. I'm waiting for something to happen as I return to Razril from the latest mundane mission.
My patience is rewarded as we land in Razril and are immediately told that Snowe and I have a special mission. We report to Glen, the seedy looking Commander of the guard, and Snowe's dad is there, along with Katarina, second in command to Glen or something. He's constantly mean to her, even though he's supposed to be the stand up commander guy. Okaaaay!
I am introduced to Mr. Ramada who wants an escort to Iluya, an island quite a ways off. He seems nervous about us newly graduated newbies being the ones given the mission, but since his cargo is just spices, and we trained in that area, it should be easy! Yeaaah, it should be easy! Put that on my tombstone!
We leave so I can rest up and buy stuff at the stores. There is a bizarre little cut scene where Snowe says he's going to check out the boat, and I should go do other stuff. My character makes an angry pout face for no discernable reason.
Then again, I do that in actual life all the time too. So maybe the game designers took that into consideration. I am pouting right now! Now I am breathing fire in real life. Now I am floating in mid-air as I levitate. Now I am eating a cookie made of diamonds. What about it?
After I check out all the shops to discover there's nothing new to buy, I go back to the briefing room and tell Mr. Ramada that I am ready for the mission.
Annnd...
We're on the boat. Snowe reveals he took a look at the cargo, it's not spices! It's the biggest ammunition for rune cannons he's ever seen. Rune cannons? That sounds suspiciously like the plot going on in Suikoden Tactics too. Okay, then. Let's get this exciting special mission going! We sail off to the great horizon beyond Razril!
Annndd...I...am...fighting....
Dirty fishmen and Giant seaweed....over...and...over...
I clear the area beyond Razril and Middleport, and woo hoo, a cut scene.
Glen, my seedy boss tells Katarina that he doubts Snowe's leadership ability, but he had to put him in charge due to political reasons. He's glad he put ME on the mission too, to make sure it goes down right. Thanks, Boss! You're still seedy though.
He has a bad feeling about the mission, a notorious pirate with six sails has been spotted in the territory, he doesn't think there's really spices on board. He's coming after us. Thanks for having my back, Glen! You're still seedy though.
We're on the boat and BOOM-O! The Pirate Brandeau and his six-sail ship attacks. I get sent sprawling to the deck, when I get up, Snowe is all like "AHH! AHH! And I can't move my arm! And we need to go back to port!" and his men are like "But sir, if we retreat then our client's ship will get blown to smithereens!" and he's like "I don't care. Save me! Save me!"
Snowe, you whiny bitch. I get the opportunity to say either "Let's Fight!" or "Yes, let's return to port quickly!" Which one do you think I pick?
Snowe is all like "No, don't listen to him. I'm the Captain! Listen to me! Retreat!" The men just look at him with disdain, and load up the cannons. Snowe sneaks onto a rowboat. Snowe, buh bye, you loser.
SHIP TO SHIP COOOMBAAAT!
This is a cool aspect to the game. Two pirate ships assault my ship, and I get to choose what elemental rune cannon ammunition I want to use to counter theirs. Then we fight. I choose the right ones, and blow both of them to itty bitties. Say hi to Davey Jones for me suckers!
But, apparently Brandeau's ship doesn't quite sink, as he rams us and boards us. Doh. He and an assassin guy attack us, neat cut scene with the assassin nailing the guy who reports the boarding of our ship in the back with three shuriken!
It's me and a random marine versus the Assassin and Pirate Brandeau. It's not that tough of a fight though, maybe because I have been level crunching, that's the whole point, and even my red shirt dude survives!
Cut Scene! Brandeau's arm starts glowing a nasty red. Rhut Rhoh! Assassin panics, tells everyone to run or we'll be disintegrated. My guys just stand around, and then they get disintegrated! Well, they were warned. The assassin gets disintegrated too. But a weird green field surrounds me, so like, its supposed to be all game over but I start singing "If ya got the GLOW! I am the LAAAST DRAAAGON! THE--"
The scene shifts to Glen tracking us down. He spots Snowe in a rowboat. Snowe explains how he can't move his arm, and Glen punches him in the face for abandoning everyone. Maybe Glen's not so seedy. Good one Glen!
Brandeau is shocked that I survived, but he realizes I must have a rune too. News to THIS GUY. Now we move into the one-on-one duel system that is also available in every Suikoden. The way this works is, the opponent says things, and based on what he says you can either Guard, Attack, or Special, which is a super attack. I am used to the system so after a few turns, I get the gist and proceed to kick his ass!
CUT SCENE!
Glen rushes on board and is happy that I am still alive. Pirate Brandeau's hand is glowing, but the rune rises off his hand and onto Glen's! Whut? I wanted the power to disintegrate others. It's not fair! Gimme that. Bah!
Brandeau seems quite relieved, as he burns to nothingness. Okay, dude. Enjoy the Afterlife.
On Mr. Ramada's ship, they view the whole thing, and are relieved that the pirate who's been chasing them is no more. Hey, it's Akaghi and Mizuki! They are on my team in Suikoden Tactics. Well, I guess these two games take place in the same environment. That's kind of cool.
My ship floats past Snowe, who is back in a row boat. I give him the death mask grimace! So much for our friendship! Thanks for leaving me to get vaporized, jerky.
I'm back in my room in Razril, save point. And that's a story progression checkmark! Finally this game got underway in earnest. Now I feel like it might be as good as the other Suikodens. We'll see.
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Bah. Soul Caliber 3 up next. This game is fun, but redundant. I take four of my warriors; Kor my main character who uses a nunchuku, my hot dancer who I upgrade with deadlier tambourines. That's right she cracks you in the head with tambourines. You won't like it! Abelia who is a powerful knight with a sword and shield, and Eurydice, who has the biggest broadsword ever made. I buy her a Demon Sword. Hoo Hah!
First we have to withstand the assault of the oncoming warriors, protecting our six bases from their attacks. As long as one of my four warriors is alive at all times, and my main base is standing, then I can't lose. Consquently, once I defeat all of their attackers, I am guaranteed victory since my warriors regenerate, theirs do not. Yeaaah. Advantage: THIS GUY.
I whack 'em. I crack 'em. I stack the bodies high in a pile. They had five attackers this time, and though my guys died quite a few times, I manage to eliminate all five of them before they can get significantly close to my base. Even when I lose a battle, I warrior gains experience and becomes more powerful, so its good to keep throwing the weaker guys into fights.
Also, I can stack 'em, so that once a battle concludes with my first warrior, the second and then third just step on in, and the opponent's health has not replenished, granting a huge hit point advantage. The enemy can do the same thing, and often does. That's the challenge of this game.
Now its time to launch into the assault of the enemy castle. I have to first take their four preliminary bases, then four after that, then the main stronghold. Not all of their little bases have protectors, and go down easily. There is a level 60 Lizardman Assassin hanging out on the road that I need to walk on to get to one of the bases. Holy %##@!
My characters are level 12.
But, he's in the road, so he doesn't replenish hit points. I keep chopping down that tree, getting a few licks in before he sends me packing. This happens three times, so I attack him nine times in total, before I kill him. But now he's dead! I hang his head on my wall. Yeaaaaah. That looks spiffy!
I take two of the four inner bases without much difficulty. There is a very tough fight in the third against a warrior with a Wave Sword, which is a big curvy nasty looking pig sticker. She sticks me in the pig enough times that I have to come back three times before I finally kill her, because she regenerates after every round due to being in a base.
Now she's gone. One more inner base to go. This one is guarded by a 24th level assassin, who mocks me the entire time, and then breathes a fireball on me. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Fire hurts!
She kills two rounds of three attacks, withstanding my forces each time. Then she smartly retreats to the main castle, to stack with the head of the enemy forces there, Luna.
That was smart, and I had almost killed her in the last fight. Oh well. I take the fourth inner base since there is no longer a protector there. And its on to the main base.
There is a brief cut scene where Luna says something about getting revenge since I defeated her in the last mission as well. Sorry Luna, no revenge for you! I attack her with everything I've got!!
She gets her revenge. Doh. But like always, I keep one warrior behind, so I just have to wait for my other three to regenerate to keep the assault going.
The next time around, Abelia stabs her through the heart, buh bye. However Abelia is my third and final warrior there, and the assassin easily kills the significantly weakened Abelia.
I regenerate, and keep going back until finally I am able to chop her down with Eurydice's huge Demon Sword, and Abelia kills her with a nice stab to the face.
Chronicle Six Defeated. That is what victory smells like! That's a checkmark.
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Time for some World Series of Poker. Remember that 10K I won in the cash games last time around? Yeah, I shell it all out as the entrance fee for the World Championship Omaha competition at the Rio.
Omaha is not a form of Poker that I have a lot of experience with. You get 4 cards, but can only use 2 of them in the hand. You have to use 3 cards from the flop, so it changes your strategy dramatically from what you are actually holding and what you have, as compared to other forms of Poker.
I do well on the very first hand, drawing A K and I end up winning 3K. That's a quality start.
My strategy is this game is to not play anything under the top 25 best hands. I may go even lower than that in the next tournament, as part of the essence of beating 2,500 other players is patience. You don't want to get drawn into too many hands, because even the best starting hand can lose in a myriad of ways. Let your competition eliminate each other, if you can, and swoop in when you have a sure thing.
My patience level has not been high enough to win at poker yet. We'll see if I can improve my situation with this tournament. My goal is to end up in the cash, something I haven't done in a tournament in this game yet.
I fold the next 5 hands with nothing of any quality. I stupidly play A 10 with a gut feeling that probably just meant I should have gotten myself a bowl of ice cream while the animated characters went to war against each other. I lose that 3K and am back to my 10K starting position.
I fold the next 2 hands, then get a full house, 3 8's, 2 J's! I win 7K! Now we're cooking with gas. Up to 17K.
After a decent starting hand, Q J suited, I fold when nothing hits me on the flop, and am out 1K. Down to 16K.
I have a pair of J's and 8's, and the board is pretty bad. But my opponent goes all in, which would cost me another 5500 to see it. I am already down to 12K, if I call and lose, I'm down to 6,500K and it is way to early to be in that position. I fold.
SHE BLUFFED ME. SHE TOTALLY HAD NOTHING. I could have eliminated her and been up to 25K. Instead I have half that amount and she has 14K. Sometimes you have to gamble, but my Jacks and 8's didn't feel strong enough.
I play with a pair of 10's and a pair of 7's comes on the board. But my opponent has a pair of A's, so I lose the hand, and am back to my starting position of 10K. How did it all go wrong so fast.
Cause I suck at poker, that's why.
I play a bluff when K Q doesn't yield any results, but my opponent has the nuts, and I fall all the way down to 5,500K. Uh oh.
Two pairs with K 9 then fails me and I am down to 2,500.
My pair of 10's and J's doubles me up as I go all in for the first time, and get back up to 5K.
I fold the next five hands, and then get the second best starting hand possible, a pair of Kings. I bet half my stack and when I entice a contestant, I go all in. When a third King comes up on the river, I feel very strong, only to learn that very same King was my undoing, as it allowed my opponent to get a King-High Straight.
I am eliminated in 2,100th position. Humiliating!!
There's 10K I'll never see again. Guess we'll be back to cash games next time around.
Hah! It's still a checkmark, because I participated. Take that, World! I am still the winner.
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And the new, updated scoreboard looks like this:
The Scoreboard: Round Three
If you're keeping score on my progress, I'm 30-6-2 this round. Two of the failures are Killzone. Bah!
I lost in both Spider Solitaire and Poker, but they are considered wins on my progress score. Make of that what you will.
The "ties" are games that I am in progress with. I haven't achieved a checkmark, but I didn't fail either.
MIND TEASERS: 4 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 3
Gabriel Knight - 2
Mahjong Titans - 3
Sherlock Holmes - 2
Spider Solitaire - 3
World Series of Poker - 3
STRATEGY: 4 of 6 defeated
Civilization 4 - 3
Europa Universalis - 2
Gladius - 3
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 3
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 3
SHOOTER: 3 of 6 defeated
Crysis - 3
Fallout 3 - 2
Killzone - 2 (Note to self: Stop getting shot in the head.)
Medal Of Honor - European Assault: 3
Ring of Red - 2 (Note to self: It helps a lot if you hit the target)
Star Wars Battlefront - 3
PURE ACTION: 4 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 3
God of War - 3
Gran Turismo 3 - 3
Madden Football - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 2 (In progress: Just kicked the door in on a new location)
Soul Caliber - 3
SWORD SLASHERS - 4 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 3
Dark Cloud - 3
Drakengard - 2
.Hack Infection - 3
Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 3
EPIC - FANTASY - 4 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 2
Dragon's Quest 8 - 2
Final Fantasy 12 - 3
Suikoden 3 - 3
Suikoden 4 - 3
Suikoden 5 - 3
EPIC - OTHER GENRES 3 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 3
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 2
Mercenaries - 2
Rogue Galaxy - 3
Star Ocean - 3
Xenosaga - 2 (Running through Menopause, I mean Merkabah)
ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 4 of 6
Assassin's Creed - 2
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 3
Hulk: Ultimate Destruction - 3
Manhunt 2 - 3
The Warriors - 2
Urbz - 3
GAMES THAT GOT THE BOOT DUE TO SUCKAGE
SWORD SLASHERS
1) Shadows of Rome
SHOOTERS
1) Freedom Fighters
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