I load up Final Fantasy 12. My group just busted loose from being escorted to a jail cell on the evil Empire's ship, but they put Princess Ashe in a holding cell in the brig.
We run through the ship, causing chaos and havok. Along the way, I look for Boston Creme pies, because I want a snack and I figure a ship this size, they must have Boston Creme Pie somewhere.
They don't have any. I slice open Empire Swordsmans' heads everywhere I go, eventually making it down into the brig. That takes about half an hour. A save point. Rock!
There is a Kupo in a cell and he's got a store open. That makes no sense at all! I find Princess Ashe's cell.
Cut Scene: The Underground leader vouches for Basch, a guy in my group who everyone thinks is a traitor, though in actuality, his own twin brother set him up. Or so we think. Ashe joins the party! I hit up the Kupo to get her some decent weapons and armor, and we're off.
The alarms go off. What? Just because we busted a major political leader out of a holding cell, you guys got to get all Ants-In-The-Pants on me? Damn that alarm is annoying. With unlimited soldiers heading my way, we fight our way through them while running through the entire ship.
Near the airship port where we will be making our escape, the teenage Empire noble who posed as an explorer and joined my party in the mines, brings Pinelo, my characters' hot crush, and returns her to us. He gives her a wacky blue mineral lump, gee thanks, and he and the Underground leader guy go off to secure a ship.
We head into the dock, and guess who's waiting for us? It's Darth F'N Vader! No, wait. It's the Evil Judge guy, the Empire Noble's older brother I think. Eh. Who cares. He insults us. Why you! He insults Ashe's father! That's the last straw for her!
Combat!
Its us vs. Darth, er, Evil Judge guy and a bunch of his swordsmen. He's got a powerful triple hit power. But I am well prepared with 60 health potions and lots of my characters have healing magic. It takes about 20 minutes to chop down the Boss Tree, but eventually we beat him.
His helmet flies off. He...is...
DICK CLARK!!
I knew it. I knew you made a pact with the Devil, Dick Clark!
We run away from Dick Clark as the Underground Leader returns and tells us he has a ship ready to go.
Cut scene: Only Xenosaga has cut scenes that match the splendor of the ones in the Final Fantasy series. We ride in an airship through skies that contain lots of them. It's amazing to watch, and then I'm back in Buherba, or wherever this place is called.
I hit the save point. That's a wrap, and a checkmark. Huh. Looks like I'll be able to go on Hunts again, which means next round will be a level grind.
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Okay, Chess Titans. I am 0-4-2 against the computer, but I take solace that I have only lost once on level 1. I gear up for another contest of the witless.
I open up well, taking some of his pawns without losing anything in the exchange. I connive him into taking a pawn of mine in exchange for his bishop. A few maneuvers around, and I boneheadedly take a knight of his with my queen, not seeing his queen all the way across the board. It eliminates my queen. But I take his immediately with my bishop. So I get his queen and knight in exchange for my queen. I guess I'll take it.
I manage to get my rook all the way up the board to take his rook, after a few maneuvers involving my knight and some pawns as a shield. He essentially had to choose between a knight and that rook, and he chose to save the rook. But now I can easily take his bishop with my rook.
He wisely moves his king up. Now if I take his bishop, his rook on the other side will take mine. I choose to wait on that, and go to the other side of the board, and eliminate most of the rest of his pawns. I sacrifice a rook to ensure the destruction of his last knight.
He's down to his rook, a few pawns, and the king. This is definitely my best game so far. After a few more manuevers, I take out his rook. Now his king is running for his life. It takes six or seven more maneuvers, but finally...CHECKMATE.
How about it? I clear level one! That's a checkmark!
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Time for some Gladius. Having one a regional tournament, I unlock some new competitions in the second city I can compete in. I run around different cities selling off useless items, accruing 600K! But I spend most of it getting new armor for a lot of my warriors.
Time to head into the city for a fight! There's a bunch of different local tournaments to choose from, but the one that intrigues me the most is the Minions of the Dark God tournament. Apparently, I will have to compete against all evil creatures in this one. And a good time was had by all!
The first fight will be a 5 on 5 contest, and for my side I choose two of the four main characters - my sword wielding heroine, Ursula and the female archer Eiji. Based on what they've got over there, I want one of my larger sized characters, I take one of my Centurions, Laina, she's huge, Buri my black bear, and my Peltast, Jeanne, she's a spear thrower with shape changing abilities.
We head into the fight! The opposing side consists of two Dark Cats, two Skeleton Warriors, and a Skeleton Mage.
I have a skeleton mage too, he's bad ass. But it wouldn't let me bring him into this match. Something about only they can have characters that worship the evil gods. BAH!
The arena has a log on the left side over a cliff, and in the middle are two statues that are exhaling fire in random compass directions. Uh oh.
I clog the log with Buri, who is met by a skeletal warrior, which is a match up I wanted. My large animal versus his medium warrior, on level ground, that's a big plus for me.
The evil cats run up the middle, as does the second skeletal warrior. I have Laina over there, and Ursula to back her up, but I don't realize until too late that there is no way to get them both into fighting position. Laina is going to be surrounded.
I have Eiji shoot at an evil cat with her bow to weaken it for Laina, and Jeanne hurls spears at the skeletal warrior on the log, severely weakening it. As expected, the undead mage summons another skeletal warrior. That's what I do with mine also. But its on the far side of the battle, it'll take awhile for it to get into fighting position.
A few rounds of hacking go by. Buri and Jeanne finish off the skeletal warrior on the log. Buri is stuck waiting for its corpse to disappear which will take a round or two, so I have him eat some bark. Buri likes bark. It's munchy-crunchy delicious.
One of the cats has swarmed over towards Eiji, which is actually good because it means Laina only has two opponents, not three.
The evil cat uses some poison claw power to poison Eiji, she'll take damage every turn now until this thing is dead. Jeanne magically transforms into a big ol' bear, and while Eiji runs for cover, Jeanne confronts the evil cat.
Laina finishes off her skeletal warrior just as the first one's corpse disappears and turns into a big ol' treasure chest. Woo Hoo. Buri runs over it which is all you have to do to get what's inside in this game. Some gold, and some equipment, most of it useless, but it'll sell for lots of gold. So yee-haw.
Buri is now free to charge after the evil mage, and as a result of that, the dumb ass skeleton he summoned who had moved into the path of the fire-spouting towers towards Laina, moves back to help out his master.
Eiji's arrows and Laina's big ol' sword finish off the first of the evil cats.
And Jeanne has the second one busy, they are locked in combat exchanging minor blows at each other every turn. Buri chews on the skeletal mage, and after a few turns, he's toast, which means his skeletal warrior instantly disappears - buh bye sucker!
We surround the last evil cat and pound it to oblivion.
As a prize for winning they give me a Horse Tooth. What the???
You bastards! Let's see what the hell it does. Ah, its an enhancement for...a Yeti? I don't have a yeti among my gladiators, but now I know I can get one, I definitely will! And my Yeti will be awesome. He'll wear sunglasses at night. Yeah. That's what he'll do.
That's a victory. And a checkmark. One of six points until I win the Minions of the Dark God tournament. Who's your Daddy?
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Time to throw down with a little Soul Reaver 2. Playing the ultra-conflicted vampire priest warrior Azrael, or is that Gargamel's cat, whatever.
I just met the big boss, a giant blob octopi thing on the bottom of a pool of water in an ancient temple. He's given me my marching orders. Whut?
Okay, I'll do it!
Into a large pool of water I go, I don't need air, air is for pansies. I'm a vampire priest warrior, say I! I swim up the cavern, and jump out of the water ultra dramatically! I get assaulted by two shades, but I stab em and then eat their souls! Yum!
Another shade is right after, I add him to the menu. My guy is secretly Pacman, eating ghosts every few minutes. I jump into another underwater cavern. I swim! I am agile. Look at my back stroke, my breast stroke, my doggie paddle! I rule the sea!
I emerge in a swamp! Oh $!$##! Running through swamp is impossible. Azrael moves through slowly. I have to jump around on top of rocks. Hey what's that running towards me? It's a Crusader! They don't like vampires!
COMBAAAAT! I disintegrate him with the Soul Reaver. Then I take his sword for myself. I duel it out with more of these cliche baddies, and with the regular sword, I can decapitate them! Yee-Ahh!
I eat their souls, cause I'm the hero! I find a door. I kick it in. Knock-Knock biyotches!
Cut Scene! I get the heebie jeebies and spin around. I stare into the face of the ancient vampire dude that I saw the paintings of in the ancient temple. He's spying on me from across the way. But he doesn't approach me. I promise to find him again later, after he fades into the shadows, because in this game, I talk to myself!
I find a save point. I don't consider this to be a checkmark, because I am just starting this new level. But it's laaaate at night, and I am ready to hit the sack. So we'll consider this to be in mid-stream.
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It's a new day, but its the same day. I start the blog from games that I begin at midnight, and I usually play until 3-4 AM. Obviously after I wake up, its the same date, even though it feels like a different day. Same blog though! Here we go!
We'll start today's adventures with Star Ocean. My character and his lifelong friend Sophia escaped the destruction of the vacation planet they were on, but had to leave my parents behind. Doh. They are not dead, likely, due to the storyline going on.
We are currently aboard the military transport ship, the Helre. We move around the ship chatting other survivors up, and after I talk to everyone, I head through a door.
CUT SCENE: The captain of the ship figures out that we got booted out of warp space and back into normal space due to a Vendeeni attack, and they find it on the view screen. It's big! Uht Oh.
We're all told to get into escape pods, as the Vendeeni Battleship starts pounding on the shields. So much for our big rescue. I get Sophie into her pod, now we're separated. I get into my own pod.
CUT SCENE: As I escape in my pod, the Helre is destroyed! My pod computer detects an underdeveloped technology planet that I can safely land on 0.5 light years away called Vanguard III. Alrighty, say I. How long will it take to get there? 144 hours? GAH.
After grabbing some nappies, I land the pod on the planet. More nice cut scenes to show it. Since I am worried about danger, but have to follow the stupid Underdeveloped Technology Planet Pact, which states we can't make contact or display advanced technology since it'll likely change the course of history for the planet, I make myself a sword with the pod's Replicator Device.
I got me a pig sticker, and I'm ready to rumble. Kind of a short session for an Epic game, but this is a jump to a new area, with the story definitely moved forward. So, that's a checkmark.
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Back in action with .Hack Infection. So, I can't do the solo mission yet, thanks to Big Greenie. It's obvious that I need a few more levels. Time for level grinding. I am currently 8th level, and I feel to beat Big Greenie, I'll need to be 12th. That means two rounds of level grinding. My current objective is to get to 10th level for Round three! Here we go!
I summon Piros, my axe-wielding ally, and Mistral, a healer, and we head off for a random dungeon crawl. We enter a Level 6 Fire Dungeon, and we're off. Facing off against some Hell Hounds, Some Rock Dudes, and oh no...it can't be!
Giant Sentient Mushrooms!!
Well, that'll be damn good for the stew later!! We hack and slash our way through four levels, this takes me about forty-five minutes. Along the way we pick up some minor enhancements to our armor pieces, all three of us get a few items, and by the time we get to the bottom of the fourth and final level, I have achieved level 10. They both upgraded to level 8, and the only mishap was Mistral getting hacked by a giant rock guy with an axe, which killed her!
But I resurrected her with a magic scroll thingamabobbie, no real harm done.
We get back to town, I trade some of our garbage and treasure items to other warriors in town and upgrade Piros' axe, my Dual Swords, and Mistral's wand, and then I save the game. That's a checkmark.
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If it seems like I'm playing a lot of games this week, its because I am taking a sort of vacation. I completed a draft of a script last week, and anytime I do that, I take a week off to relax and recharge the batteries. I outline a little bit, and whatnot. Next week we'll be back to the normal playing schedule.
I put Killzone back in for a second try. The problem is when I get to the staircase, I get blasted from all sides. After I get killed yet again, I spot something I didn't before. The problem is that there are snipers firing from across the street, that I never recognized the first time I played. So there are guys in the room and guys across the street. No wonder I got destroyed. It's a crossfire.
Knowledge is power, but like rock-paper-scissors, Bullets beats Knowledge, and though I come closer the second, third, and fourth time I try it, I can't get past this mission. Eventually I will, but this clearly isn't my day. Again! Time to switch over to something else.
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I put in Manhunt 2, cause its time for another Rockstar Category game. Last mission was a flashback, so we start with a cut scene where my boy talks to his rough, Brooklynite alter ego for a bit. We're in the safehouse, so I can finally change out of the clothes I escaped from at the mental institution. And I get myself a nice pistol.
As soon as I leave, boys from the Project on are on my ass! I shoot four of them in the face! I take their ammunition. One had a shotgun. It's mine! Now I'm dangerous! Come get some.
I move down a stairwell, to find three more Project guys waiting on me in a room. I waste them with extreme prejudice. Well, that's a little harsh. I don't actually have anything against them. They might have been really nice people, fun at parties and barbeques. I waste them with a tiny little bit of prejudice. I take their ammo. What's this in the closet, health pills? Yeah. back to full strength.
I jump down into a theater lobby -- I know right? The setup is pretty odd, but I guess that's why I put my safehouse here. An armed Project guy is looking into the theater so I sneak up on him and Execute his ass with a special maneuver point-blank gun to the face move.
I take his ammo, switch to my shotgun, and storm into the theater. This game is not for children, as I move onto the stage and behind me, a porno is in progress. What the? That's hilarious! What's not hilarious is the small army of six Project guys who storm in from the front of the theater.
We have a hellacious gun fight, and I'm down to the last of them when my health meter runs out and I die. Doh.
I have to replay through from the checkpoint where I blast the three guys in the room, and this happens about four times before I finally wise up and just storm into the theater, and manage to take all six of them out in time.
I move out of the theater, cut scene! I yell at my alter ego about how I'm sick of this and I'm going to talk to someone close to me, to find out some information.
Guess we'll be doing that next time, because its mission over. Seems short, but like most Rockstar gameplay, it was intense and difficult. So, that's a checkmark.
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The Scoreboard: Round Three
If you're keeping score on my progress, I'm 22-6-2 this round. Two of the failures are Killzone. Bah!
The "ties" are games that I am in progress with. I haven't achieved a checkmark, but I didn't fail either.
MIND TEASERS: 3 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 3
Gabriel Knight - 2
Mahjong Titans - 3
Sherlock Holmes - 2
Spider Solitaire - 3
World Series of Poker - 2
STRATEGY: 3 of 6 defeated
Civilization - 2
Europa Universalis - 2
Gladius - 3
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 3
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 3
SHOOTER: 2 of 6 defeated
Crysis - 3
Fallout 3 - 2
Freedom Fighters - 2
Killzone - 2 (Note to self: Stop getting shot in the head.)
Ring of Red - 2 (Note to self: It helps a lot if you hit the target)
Star Wars Battlefront - 3
PURE ACTION: 2 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 3
God of War - 3
Madden Football - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 2 (In progress: Just kicked the door in on a new location)
Soul Caliber - 2
SWORD SLASHERS - 3 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 3
Dark Cloud - 3
Drakengard - 2
.Hack Infection - 3
Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Shadow of Rome - 2 (Must get better at hitting armed guards from behind with clay pots)
EPIC - FANTASY - 3 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 2
Dragon's Quest 8 - 2
Final Fantasy 12 - 3
Suikoden 3 - 3
Suikoden 4 - 2
Suikoden 5 - 3
EPIC - OTHER GENRES 3 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 3
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 2
Mercenaries - 2
Rogue Galaxy - 3
Star Ocean - 3
Xenosaga - 2 (Running through Menopause, I mean Merkabah)
ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 3 of 6
Assassin's Creed - 2
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 3
Hulk: Ultimate Destruction - 3
Manhunt 2 - 3
The Warriors - 2
Urbz - 2
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