9/30 Progress

Busy today! No games for me! Bah!

Progress 9/29

I start out today ready to finish the chapter in Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened and just like with Gabriel Knight, I have come to realize that each chapter after the inital ones are now much longer than initially anticipated. Therefore, earning a checkmark will occur with a definitive story progression. After the last session that I played this game, where I started as Dr. Watson and then watched as Sherlock slipped in, in the disguise of the murdered detective we found in London, then busted out of my cell and started prowling around, I feel I am close to that progression. We'll see.

Last time around I drugged the male nurse guarding the laboratory. He's out for the count, but now I have to lurk about and find some clues as to why various foreigners were abducted to London and shipped here in crates. If anyone can figure it out, it's THIS GUY, while being Sherlock F%$^%! Holmes!

I go up a flight of stairs to poke around up there, and unlock a closet with a spoon! Holy Handy Smurf! Inside is a doctor's jacket, which I promptly steal, because I am the good guy, and as we've well established in this blog by now, good guys always steal stuff!

Now I can move around more freely, since I fit in better. Goody. I walk around and find a bunch of doors locked, but there is  huge open area with a bunch of birds inside a gigantic cage. A brunette is yelling at one of the other crazy dudes, Bauer, to stop. He's agitating the birds and he's got their seed. He wants to let them all out and fly around the place, that would cause the nurses to all stop their duties and havok would ensure. Hmm. That's a good point, crazy dude. Thanks for that.

Aww, she loves her birdies. Bah!

I need the key to the birdcage, but neither of these wackos seems to know where to get it. I go back downstairs, time to talk to some of the other residents of this evil nuthouse.

After some exploration, I find a woman named Gerta who is lamenting the loss of her friend Heidi, who abandoned her. So sorry! By the way, yer crazy!

I progress to the other end of the asylum. There are more nurses with whistles wandering about, so I have to be careful to avoid them. I get to the cell of a guy named Becker. He wants his medicine. Its made with those strange pink crystals I found in the laboratory. What's that, create a concoction at the direction of a crazy house patient with no actual medical degree? All right, I'll do it! Especially when Becker says he has some valuable information for me.

Becker wantsies his druggies.

I head back to the lab. I take the pink crystals. I need some water, there's a fountain up by the birds. I head up there and fill a cup with water, then deposit the pink crystals in there. Yeah! Becker's "medicine" is all ready to go. Maybe it'll turn him into Mr. Hyde and he'll bust out of the cell! We'll see.

Mmm-Mmm! Them's good drinking water

I give Becker the pink drink, and suddenly he's a lot more lucid than before. We have a chit-chat about the foreigners that were brought in. He wants to tell me more, but he's afraid that the guards will overhear and hurt us both. I need to get rid of them somehow for him to tell me more. Drats.
Becker tells me that crazy Gertrude may know how to open the bird cage, that the doll in the lab belongs to her. I kind of figured that one out already, but the game wouldn't let me pick the doll up earlier. Armed with this knowledge, I head back into the lab, and snag the weird looking doll. Hello Heidi!

All happy to be reunited with your icky doll.

Gertrude is very pleased to have Heidi back in her hands. She tells me that Heidi was taken from her as a punishment. A large guard took her to a private room and tried to make her do, uh, unsavory things, so Gertrude rewarded him by cutting off his head!

Nice!

The staff punished her for her murder by putting her in an isolated wing by herself, separating her from Heidi, and not letting her see the birds anymore. The woman who lives in the room now has the key for the birdcage, Gertrude tells me. She also tells me she was afraid the guard whose head she cut off might come back for her, so she stole the key to his room. Right. The room with the key for the bird cage! Heidi hid it in her belly, Gertrude says, and pulls the key out of the doll and hands it to me. Yes! Crazy people rule!

I head upstairs, and sneak into the right room, and after stealing random things off a desk which might be useful later, I find the key to the bird cage.

"Fly! Be Free!" -- Mork from Ork, to a carton of eggs.

I head into the aviary, and much to the delight of Bauer, I release the hounds! Well, the birds anyway. The nurse/guards all freak out and chase after the birds. The birds fly into the lobby and out into the streets. The nurses completely abandon their posts to try and retrieve them. HAHAHA! Stupid nurse/guards.

I head back down to see Becker.

He tells me that when they were first brought in, they tried to communicate but couldn't because they all had different dialects. Becker was sure that none of them were crazy or in need of being institutionalized. Weirdly, about a week after they were brought in, they were all speaking the same language, and saying the same thing, some kind of chant or something.

AH HAH! Culty-Cult brainwashing is it? Okay then. I promise Becker I will rescue him as soon as possible, since he's a prisoner here too and clearly not insane. I make that promise because I'm Sherlock F$^&! Holmes!

This is a story progression checkmark. Time to move on.

The Scoreboard: Round Three! 43 Down! Only 5 games to go until we're onto Round 4.

MIND TEASERS: COMPLETE
Chess Titans - 3
Gabriel Knight - 3
Mahjong Titans - 3
Sherlock Holmes - 3
Spider Solitaire - 3
World Series of Poker - 3

STRATEGY: 5 of 6 defeated
Civilization 4 - 3
Gladius - 3
Master of Orion: 3
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 3
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 3

SHOOTER: COMPLETE
Crysis - 3
Fallout 3 - 3
Killzone - 3
Medal Of Honor - European Assault: 3
Ring of Red - 3
Star Wars Battlefront - 3

PURE ACTION: COMPLETE
Devil May Cry - 3
God of War - 3
Gran Turismo 3 -  3
Madden Football - 3
Soul Reaver 2 - 3
Soul Caliber - 3

SWORD SLASHERS - 5 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 3
Dark Cloud - 3
Drakengard - 3
.Hack Infection - 3
 Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 3

EPIC - FANTASY - 5 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 2
Dragon's Quest 8 - 3
Final Fantasy 12 - 3
Suikoden 3 - 3
Suikoden 4 - 3
Suikoden 5 - 3

EPIC - OTHER GENRES 5 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 3
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 3
Mercenaries - 2 (Super Long Ace Mission!)
Rogue Galaxy - 3
Star Ocean - 3
Xenosaga - 3

ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 5 of 6
Assassin's Creed - 2
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 3
Hulk: Ultimate Destruction - 3
Manhunt 2 - 3
The Warriors - 3
Urbz - 3

GAMES THAT GOT THE BOOT DUE TO SUCKAGE

STRATEGY
1) Europa Universalis III

SWORD SLASHERS
1) Shadows of Rome

SHOOTERS
1) Freedom Fighters

_________________________________________________________________________



Progress 9/28

It's time to conclude this round's Xenosaga expedition in our Epic Other category.

I am exploring the manufacturing plant Mekabah, and like all of the other areas in this game, it is super long. I made it to the 44th floor - I did not have to actually clear 44 levels, I took an elevator to the 41st floor and have been working on puzzles and slaying large menacing beasts and robots through the four levels.

There is a door leading to an area in the 44th floor that is locked, and I have to work my way down the left side to the 42nd floor to find a button panel to open it. I head back up to the 44th floor and enter the new area of the complex.

There is the biggest Mech enemy I have ever seen standing there! Even the ones in Ring of Red look wimpy by comparison. Doh! I make sure I am healed up and ready for a fight. And here we go! COMBAAAT!!

His name is Kanthosis, and he don't take no guff!

Kanthosis has 3000 hit points, but I blast him to smithereens in four rounds, because that's how I roll. I give him a little of this!

Kos-Mos' extremely powerful cannon blasts Kanthosis to little itty bitties.

Onward we go. I break through a secret wall to find a treasure chest with a nice ring in it, and then I head to the left side of the map to find....another giant mech. This one in lavender. Lavender?

The heroes of the story! Well, 3 of them anyway.

Lavender mechs are good on the XP.

I smash the lavender robot in four turns as well. Then I reach a ledge. Jump off? It asks me. What? You want me to leap off down below to an unscouted area in the enemy's complex? All right I'll do it!

I land on a big satellite dish. And immediately I am besieged by THE BOSS!!





 

The Boss has two assistants, both named Schultz.

What the?

The fight is on! The Schultz's fire laser beams, and the Boss, Proto Dora has a huge sledge press that he keeps flattening me with. Kos-Mos blasts them with her X-Cannon, and Momo uses her Meteor Flyswatter thing. Yeah, don't ask. It's Japanese Anime' style. The less questions you ask, the better it will be for you.

Meanwhile I have Shion on healing duties, since she can heal all three characters simultaneously. Then Proto Dora raises a Beam Shield, rendering my most effective weapon, the X-Cannon, useless. I switch Kos-Mos over to her Dragon Hammer, which does nice damage but not remotely what the X-Cannon does, and now its going to be a slow whittling down process.

Halfway through the fight, Proto Dora absorbs the Schultzes to become more powerful. That's cold!



I finally realize that Momo has a power that will lower the Beam Shield, but it will take four hits to do it. Proto Dora keeps using massive health potions to re-heal 2,500 hit points at a shot, and a lot of damage I did is returned. This is a loooooong fight.

It takes twenty minutes, but finally I get through the beam shield, and defeat Proto Dora! Yeaaah! Boss defeated.

I would like to put a checkmark here, since it took me close to two hours of playing to get from the start of this area to the slaying of the current boss. Unfortunately, there is no save point anywhere nearby. Looks like we'll have to keep going.

Let's just pray together that I find a save point before running into another boss. In the last area, there were three massive fights and two of them took me many times to play through to finally win them. If I lose all of this progress, I will not be a happy game player.

I have to climb the tallest ladder I've ever seen, and then its time to creep around quietly looking for the save point. Unfortunately, there are demons everywhere. Yes. Demons! What the?



Eat some Laser Rain from Shion!



Do I look like Mario or Luigi to you?

The demons are tough opponents, but not as tough as Proto Dora, and my characters have advanced enough to be able to handle them.



Demons! Just what I needed.



Finally, I locate an elevator that takes me all the way down to the ground floor. Guess what's there? SAVE POINT! YEE-AHHHH! That, sir, is a checkmark!

Aside from Mercenaries, the other games left are all PC. I've been playing a lot of games while either taking a break from writing, thus needing to get away from my PC, or during commercial breaks during football, which I've been watching on my PC. So, now I will have to blow through the computer games to complete the third round. We're very close. Should be on Round 4 by the weekend. We'll see.

________________________________________________________________________________

The Scoreboard: Round Three!

MIND TEASERS: 5 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 3
Gabriel Knight - 3
Mahjong Titans - 3
Sherlock Holmes - 2 (Amok in the Black Edelweis. In Sweden, I mean Switzerland!)
Spider Solitaire - 3
World Series of Poker - 3

STRATEGY: 5 of 6 defeated
Civilization 4 - 3
Gladius - 3
Master of Orion: 3
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 3
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 3

SHOOTER: COMPLETE
Crysis - 3
Fallout 3 - 3
Killzone - 3
Medal Of Honor - European Assault: 3
Ring of Red - 3
Star Wars Battlefront - 3

PURE ACTION: COMPLETE
Devil May Cry - 3
God of War - 3
Gran Turismo 3 -  3
Madden Football - 3
Soul Reaver 2 - 3
Soul Caliber - 3

SWORD SLASHERS - 5 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 3
Dark Cloud - 3
Drakengard - 3
.Hack Infection - 3
 Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 3

EPIC - FANTASY - 5 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 2
Dragon's Quest 8 - 3
Final Fantasy 12 - 3
Suikoden 3 - 3
Suikoden 4 - 3
Suikoden 5 - 3

EPIC - OTHER GENRES 5 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 3
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 3
Mercenaries - 2 (Super Long Ace Mission!)
Rogue Galaxy - 3
Star Ocean - 3
Xenosaga - 3

ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 5 of 6
Assassin's Creed - 2
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 3
Hulk: Ultimate Destruction - 3
Manhunt 2 - 3
The Warriors - 3
Urbz - 3

GAMES THAT GOT THE BOOT DUE TO SUCKAGE

STRATEGY
1) Europa Universalis III

SWORD SLASHERS
1) Shadows of Rome

SHOOTERS
1) Freedom Fighters

Progress 9/27

Since my Giants had an awful game against the Titans yesterday, and since its the final game in the Pure Action Category, well, are you ready for some football? It's Madden 08.

We now resume the career of rookie running back Dan Wiggum. I created Wiggum and we're followng his career in Hall of Fame mode. Wiggum was drafted by the Denver Broncos, and we're currently 2-0 after handing defeats to the Buffalo Bills and Oakland Raiders. Next up on the schedule: The Jacksonville Jaguars.

But first we need to go through three days of practice to shore up our skills and prepare for the opponent.

Wiggum's crib is super sweet, cause even rooks get paid more than Obama!



Two-A-Day practices are tough, because you have to get enough points from positive yardage to keep a point total of at least 10 going for the normal practices. I average 9 for the normal practices, and 6 for the special game plan practices. I'm doing mostly draw plays in the special game plan ones, it is hard to break free for major yardage going over the left tackle.

Okay then, we end up with a C grade for our practices. Bah! But now it's game on! Getcher pizza and beer handy. And awaaaay we go! It's a home game, the Jaguars come in 0-2. So they are desperate. Well, as desperate as pixels get, anyway.



I won the toss! I elect to receive. Oh SNAP!



On the first series, I start at my own twenty. Wiggum gets stuffed in his first run! I then proceed to muff a screen pass and we lose seven yards. Oops. I'm not in on the third play, but we don't make the first down. Three-and-Out. We punt. Not a great start for THIS GUY.

Oh, did your pass fall incomplete. Too bad for you!



The Jaguars convert one first down but my defense holds. I don't get to play on defense or special teams, because I am only controlling Dan Wiggum. So I just sit around and watch like a real player would. Sort of.

Second Series: Denver

We drive from our own twenty yard line all the way into the red zone. During this drive Dan Wiggum picks up 57 yards over the course of a few plays. Yeaaah, I'm in the groove now. Can't stop me! Can't stop me!

On first-and-goal from the seven I fumble the ball! Jaguars recover. They stop me! Ugh!

Second Series: Jacksonville

They proceed to march from their seven to their thirty-five. But then, it's a pick! Interception! 

Somebody threw a bad pass. HAHA!

Third Series - Denver

We march it down from the spot of the interception, and Jay Cutler tosses a nice pass into the end zone to Javon Walker for the TOUCHDOWWWWN! Dan Wiggum on the block. So far, I have 68 yards rushing in the first quarter. It's 7-0.



He has no idea he's about to get sacked.



Third Series - Jacksonville

The Jaguars start at their own fifteen after muffing the kickoff. Hahaha! But they march it down the field. Halfway through their series, the first quarter comes to an end.

The Jaguars continue to march it down the field, exposing weaknesses in my secondary and run defense. They get a key third-and-eight that would have forced a punt, and end up kicking a field goal to make the score 7-3.

Denver - 4th Series 7-3
Dan Wiggum is called upon to mostly pass block as we advance the ball from our twenty to mid-field. But we can't do much else from there. We punt!

You look like you are in pain Mr. Leftwich.

Jaguars - 4th Series 7-3

Our punt is a touchback so they start at their own twenty. They drive up for a couple of first downs, but then our defense crushes Byron Leftwich, and he goes out with an injury. They bring in David Garrard who can't do anything this time around. They punt!

Denver - 5th Series 7-3

We start at our own twenty-five. Dan Wiggum has some nice runs, oh yeah! We bring it up to midfield. On second-and-five, Wiggum gets drilled behind the line for a big loss! Doh! Who was supposed to block that guy? Cutler tosses an incomplete pass on third down. We punt!



No sir, you did not convert on third down.



Jacksonville - 5th Series - 7-3

The Jaguars have a long, extended drive. The defense can't seem to guess right between run and pass, and they move it all the way into the red zone. But then, somehow, we hold them!

They kick a field goal. My lead shrinks to 1 point, at 7-6.

Denver - Sixth Series - 7-6

We start off at our own twenty-five and I proceed to get stuffed on first and second down. Pick it up Wiggum, you rook!

Jay Cutler avoids a blitz on third down and hurls a long strike to the wide receiver. TOUCHDOOOOWWN! 14-6!

Jacksonville - 6th Series - 14-6

Byron Leftwich is back in the game. He rears back. Throws. Interception!

Denver - 7th Series - 14-6

We bring it from the Jags thirty where the interception happened, all the way to the four. And I fumble again? What? No, the official in the booth wants to review it. My knee was down! My knee was down! I knews it all the time.

Jay Cutler does some fancy play action and its another TOUCHDOOOWWWN! 21-6! Dan Wiggum with 86 yards rushing in the first half of the game! This is why the Jaguars are 0-2, I guess. Yeah. It's called suckage.

Jacksonville - 7th Series 21-6

They try three pass plays which are nicely defended. Three and out for the suckers from Florida.

Denver - 8th Series - 21-6

We march down the field. Dan Wiggum is not heavily involved because there are only thirty seconds left in the half, so if we're going to do anything, we need long passes. Cutler makes the throws. We get into field goal range with four seconds left in the half. Jason Elam boots it through. We take a 24-6 halftime lead.

Me likeee!

We're winning! We're winning!

In the halftime meeting we decide the important issue of what should go in the blue bowl: Peanut-Flavored M&M's, and what should go in the red bowl: Gummi Bears. We are all happy with this. We leave the locker for the second half.

Jacksonville - 8th Series 24-6

With the Jaguars losing by a bunch of points, they decide to open it up with a long bomb on the second play of the series. It works! The guy runs like 80 yards for a TOUCHDOOOWN! Ack! Wake up defense!

24-13

Ensuing Kickoff -- OUR MAN TAKES IT IN FOR A TOUCHDOOOOWN! So much for your big comeback, suckers! 30-13!

That's putting the 'special' in special teams!



Jacksonville - 9th Series - 30-13

They move the chains a couple of times with mostly a rushing attack. They get called for clipping, that backs them up to a second-and-twenty-two. Byron Leftwich rears back and throws a long bomb. IT'S A TOUCHDOOWWWN! What The?!? We held them to less yardage in the entire first half than in their first four plays of the second half. 30-20!

My defense is falling apart at the seams. And there's nothing I can do, cause I'm Dan Wiggum, rookie halfback. Doh!

All of a sudden, he's Captain America! What the?!?

Denver - 9th Series 30-20

We drive down the field. Dan Wiggum has pickups of 14, 12, and 10 while we also mix in the pass. Wiggum's over 100 yards for the game. Attaboy, rook! After Wiggum makes it first-and-goal at the nine, another running back comes in and blows through the defense for a TOUCHDOOOOOWN!! 38-20!

Jacksonville - 10th Series 38-20

Byron Leftwich runs for his life! We sack his ass! He's down. He's hurt. He's out. He gets carted off. Aloha!David Garrard comes in, and after he leads them to a few short passing plays that lead to a couple of first downs, we sack him too! Finally, the defense is back! They punt!

Denver - 10th Series 38-20. Nearing the end of the third quarter, now. Dan Wiggum fakes a run and the defense buys it! Jay Cutler hurls a 64 yard pass play! Yee-Ahhhh! But, after that, we can't make it happen in the red zone. Elam adds a field goal. 41-20.

To beat us, they would need to score more points in the fourth quarter, than the first three combined. I feel confident!

FOURTH QUARTER

Jacksonville - 11th Series 41-20

The word comes in that Byron Leftwich's wrist is injured, and he'll be out for four weeks. Sorry, dude! Well, not that sorry. And two plays in, we blast David Garrard! He's down. He's out. They scrape him off the field! The third string quarterback enters the game, down by three touchdowns. HAHA!!

Fred Taylor takes the ball, reaches the edge, and cruises down the sideline for a TOUCHDOOOWN! What the hell?!?? No! 41-27.

Denver - 11th Series 41-27

We are in clock management mode. Dan Wiggum gets a lot of carries on this series, as we work it from our twenty to the fifty deliberately, taking a few minutes off the clock. But we're too predictable, and that leads to a punt. This puts them back at their twenty.

Jacksonville - 12th Series 41-27

David Garrard is back for the Jags. We sack him! On the next play, he throws a long bomb the likes of which the real David Garrard could never throw! The Jaguars score another touchdown. Outrageous! It's 41-34 now, and there is still 4:40 left in the game. An eternity.

Denver - 12th Series 41-34

We are still being ultra conservative, trying to take time off the clock. I don't like it with our lead evaporated down to a mere 7 points. They are SO ready for Dan Wiggum, and I get blasted backwards on second down. On third-and-fourteen Jay Cutler scrambles up the middle to convert. But then we go three-and-out from that point, and have to punt. We only took one minute of game clock off, still plenty of time.

Jacksonville - 13th Series 41-34

They miss a completion on third down. With only 2:31 left in the game, on fourth-and-three, the Jaguars opt to punt! Why would you do that, down 7?

Denver - 13th Series 41-34

I want us to run some pass plays but no. Coach wants us to run three consecutive draws from our twelve yard line. They crush Dan Wiggum on both first and second down, and another runner on third down. Their punting strategy worked as they pinned us in our own end, and now with us having to punt, they will start at midfield.

Jacksonville - 14th Series 41-34

David Garrard throws an interception on third down! YEAAAAHH! We're gonna win! We're gonna win!

Denver - 14th Series 41-34

Coach calls for three more draw plays. And Jacksonville still has two timeouts left. They use them, and we don't use much clock, but at least we can put them back on their side of the field. I am not liking the conservative play calling of my offensive coordinator.

Jacksonville 15th Series 41-34

Garrard rears back on second down and hurls another bomb! It's complete! My defenders can't catch the guy. It's a touchdoooowwwwn! NO F'N WAY!!! The Jags come all the way back to tie the score at 41-41 with less than a minute remaining in the game.

This is all a bad dream!



Denver - 15th Series 41-41

We can't do anything with a minute remaining starting at our own twenty. I guess Jay Cutler doesn't have six bombs in him like the Jaguar quarterbacks. Eh?

OVERTIME!!

I win the coin toss, and elect to receive.

Denver - 16th Series 41-41

...And proceed to go three-and-out. We punt! Crap!

Jacksonville - 16th Series

And on the first play, David Garrard hurls another long bomb! It's a TOUCHDOOOOWN! WTF!?! GAME OVER. JAGUARS WIN!

They ended up shredding us for 556 yards through the air. Dan Wiggum ran for 136 yards and it didn't matter, cause our secondary stinks! And guess what, we have Peyton Manning in Indianapolis next game. Gah! They scored 6 points in the first half, 35 in the second, and that does not include the overtime score.

I have a feeling people will be throwing on us from now on. That's a suckmark. I mean, checkmark. The game is advanced. And that completes the third round Pure Action Category.

_____________________________________________________________________

The Scoreboard: Round Three!

MIND TEASERS: 5 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 3
Gabriel Knight - 3
Mahjong Titans - 3
Sherlock Holmes - 2 (Amok in the Black Edelweis. In Sweden, I mean Switzerland!)
Spider Solitaire - 3
World Series of Poker - 3

STRATEGY: 5 of 6 defeated
Civilization 4 - 3
Gladius - 3
Master of Orion: 3
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 3
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 3

SHOOTER: COMPLETE
Crysis - 3
Fallout 3 - 3
Killzone - 3
Medal Of Honor - European Assault: 3
Ring of Red - 3
Star Wars Battlefront - 3

PURE ACTION: COMPLETE
Devil May Cry - 3
God of War - 3
Gran Turismo 3 -  3
Madden Football - 3
Soul Reaver 2 - 3
Soul Caliber - 3

SWORD SLASHERS - 5 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 3
Dark Cloud - 3
Drakengard - 3
.Hack Infection - 3
 Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 3

EPIC - FANTASY - 5 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 2
Dragon's Quest 8 - 3
Final Fantasy 12 - 3
Suikoden 3 - 3
Suikoden 4 - 3
Suikoden 5 - 3

EPIC - OTHER GENRES 4 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 3
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 3
Mercenaries - 2
Rogue Galaxy - 3
Star Ocean - 3
Xenosaga - 2  (Running through Menopause, I mean Merkabah)

ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 5 of 6
Assassin's Creed - 2
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 3
Hulk: Ultimate Destruction - 3
Manhunt 2 - 3
The Warriors - 3
Urbz - 3

GAMES THAT GOT THE BOOT DUE TO SUCKAGE

STRATEGY
1) Europa Universalis III

SWORD SLASHERS
1) Shadows of Rome

SHOOTERS
1) Freedom Fighters

Progress 9/26

May as well try Ring of Red for the second time this round. Last time around, I was foolish with my strategy, got my light mech wiped out early and then put my main guy in jeopardy. As soon as he was toasted by repeated attacks by the enemy, it was GAME OVER. I'm not going to employ those dumbass tactics again.

Very Japanese Anime' EH?

So I have to try and stop the Experimental Mech #3 from making it to a ship and escaping, cause like, that's our property or something. Unfortunately, there's a bunch of other mechs ready to run interference. They are inferior models but there are a bunch of them. Alrighty then!

I gots snipers! Duck suckahbutt!

We move forward en masse and obliterate the first two mechs. My aim is much better today than the first time I played this game. This isn't one I can do at three in the morning. My characters are still low level and their aim percentage is not good. So hitting the enemy takes a lot of concentration.

BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT OR SOMETHING!

We blow shit up!

I begin to advance across the map. But the Experimental 3 makes it to the docks. Of course he does, he's got ten guys running interference for him. He has a long conversation with his boss, and they are all like "How's the new mech HAR HAR!" "Dude, It's awesome HAR HAR!" and I'm all like "I'm coming to get you!" And they're all like "HAR HAR!"

I blow more shit up!

How does that taste, A-Hole?

A second round of enemies appears just when I think I have a clear line to Experimental 3, and the Red Phantom dude that stole it. Yes, his name is the Red Phantom. What about it? He fights crime when he's not stealing my stuff.

I have a couple of tougher battles with the Ugly-Come-Latelies, the terrain matters and my aim is worse in woods and cities or something. But I whittle them all down and eventually it is the four of my units versus the one big dude guarding the docks.

You are surrounded. But I admire your resolve to fight to the death. Here it comes, suckah!

He holds court for awhile, staving off my attacks and forcing me to retreat and heal. But eventually I get enough of my units in position and I blow his shit up!

He's the last one, and after searching the docks, apparently The Red Phantom got away. Somewhere in the ocean, he is Har Har'ing!

But so am I. Because it's Mission Complete. That's a checkmark! Yee-AHHH!

________________________________________________________________________

Time to finally attempt the Ace Mission in Mercenaries. This should be a long, detailed mission since its the ACE of one of the suits. I haven't had the time to really try it in my schedule, but it's finally time.

I load up the game and find myself in the South Korean city, where I ended up last time after capturing the King. I head to the U.N. base, to talk to the Allied Forces leader and get the Ace Mission.

And here we go:



If my mom named me Dung, I'd become a notorious criminal too!

I get dropped off by helicopter onto a small island. I have three major objectives, two of them necessary for mission completion, one optional but it looks like a damn good idea.

Objectives:

Optional:

Clear the Landing Zone on the south of the island so that you get assistance from some troops!

Mandatory:

1) Destroy all three of the Jammer Machines, situated at different spots on the island and all heavily guarded.

2) Capture or Kill the Ace of Clubs. 

Yeah. This is going to take awhile, at least an hour to accomplish. Okay, then let's get started!

As soon as I get dropped off, I get fired at. I kill six North Koreans guarding a...er...burning shack. I can see what that's important. Not!



Protect the Shack!

There's ammunition and health packs around the shack area, and I hop into a North Korean military vehicle, which temporarily fools everybody into thinking I am one of them.

Once I clear them out, my boys can storm the island!

 I head towards the south of the island past a couple of the heavily guarded jammers, to where thelanding zone needs to be cleared so I can get me some backup!

There are six dudes there, though. I get out of my vehicle, and start shooting them. But one of them has a missle launcher and blows me to Kingdom Come! Game Over!

Attempt #2: This time I run the first two over with my stolen vehicle. Yee-Ahhh! They turn on the alarm. Uh oh. A helicopter soars in. I exit my vehicle and accidentally hit the wrong button, switching to my rocket pack. I fire point blank at a bunch of dudes, killing them all but taking my health all the way down.

The helicopter makes short work of me.

BAH. I am out of time since the Giants-Titans game will be on at 1 PM, and I anticipate this mission taking an hour from start to finish. So, we'll get back to this another day. I will get you DUNG!

___________________________________________________________________________________

You know what time it is.

I go through the first few phases of the mission without issue: Hide from the initial helicopter, kill the six enemies that charge through the fence, go up the stairs, kill the two dudes coming from the left, grab the sniper rifle, kill the guy stupidly charging down the stairs by himself.

Snipe the four guys across the way. Here's where I usually die! Me and Dopey, and Sneezy and Miley Cyrusy shoot at the guys down the stairs. This time I stay up top, and we kill them all! WHAT?

I slowly, tentatively creep down the stairs. And proceed to get sniped at from across the way! Why you! Me and the boys fire back. I use my own sniper rifle to burst two of their heads like watermelons! Sneezy takes one in the brain. No, SNEEEZZZZY! THE HUMANITY! 

Everything's quiet. Way too quiet. I rush across the way. I hear some dudes yelling "Kill him!" There's a good indication that I've found the bad guys. There's only two of them, and four of us. Bad formula for them. We eliminate them.

There's a long bridge with a door at the end. That must be the next place to go! I charge over to it, like a dumb ass. I can't open it. It's locked. Bullets rip into me from seemingly everywhere! What? No NOOO!

 

Me = Dead



I start over. I do all that again. This time, it's Miley Cyrusy that takes an SMG burst at short range in the pancreas. That couldn't have felt good. He dies in my arms as a sad theme song plays! WE WILL REVENGE YOU MILEY CYRUSY OF DWARF UNIT!

This time, I get a better look off the bridge to see what shot me. Ah HAH.

Ah. Tanks with machine gunners on top. But as you can see, my sniper rifle is the equalizer! Eat it!

I snipe the two machine gunners on the tanks. Their brains make nice designs on the pavement. One of my guys opens the door ahead of me and I rush through. Mission Complete. YEE-AAHHH

Finally. Only 17 tries to make it happen, but I have got the checkmark! And ironically, the category I have had the most difficulty with, is the one I fully complete the first in round 3. Nice!



I only hit targets 20 percent of the time. HAHA.



_______________________________________________________________________________________

The Scoreboard: Round Three!

MIND TEASERS: 5 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 3
Gabriel Knight - 3
Mahjong Titans - 3
Sherlock Holmes - 2 (Amok in the Black Edelweis. In Sweden, I mean Switzerland!)
Spider Solitaire - 3
World Series of Poker - 3

STRATEGY: 5 of 6 defeated
Civilization 4 - 3
Gladius - 3
Master of Orion: 3
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 3
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 3

SHOOTER: COMPLETE
Crysis - 3
Fallout 3 - 3
Killzone - 3
Medal Of Honor - European Assault: 3
Ring of Red - 3
Star Wars Battlefront - 3

PURE ACTION: 5 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 3
God of War - 3
Gran Turismo 3 -  3
Madden Football - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 3
Soul Caliber - 3

SWORD SLASHERS - 5 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 3
Dark Cloud - 3
Drakengard - 3
.Hack Infection - 3
 Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 3

EPIC - FANTASY - 5 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 2
Dragon's Quest 8 - 3
Final Fantasy 12 - 3
Suikoden 3 - 3
Suikoden 4 - 3
Suikoden 5 - 3

EPIC - OTHER GENRES 4 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 3
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 3
Mercenaries - 2
Rogue Galaxy - 3
Star Ocean - 3
Xenosaga - 2  (Running through Menopause, I mean Merkabah)

ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 5 of 6
Assassin's Creed - 2
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 3
Hulk: Ultimate Destruction - 3
Manhunt 2 - 3
The Warriors - 3
Urbz - 3

GAMES THAT GOT THE BOOT DUE TO SUCKAGE

STRATEGY
1) Europa Universalis III

SWORD SLASHERS
1) Shadows of Rome

SHOOTERS
1) Freedom Fighters



9/25 Progress

Time to finish off Dark Reaver 2 for this round. So last we left off, I had just kicked in the door on a new location because good guys don't knock politely!

I get attacked almost immediately by a skeletal guard! Aha! I knew if I broke into a place as loudly and violently as possible, I would encounter somebody just doing their job AKA the bad guy.

I cut off his head!

He has a purple shield that fits right into the door and it opens. Wacky! I proceed. What happens over the next hour or so is unhappiness. Ever see that movie "The Cube" where those people have to make it through a crazy series of puzzles and traps or they will be trapped in there forever? Yeah, that's my experience here.

So the basic premise of this place is there are pedestals with lenses in them, and you have to get them turned the right way and at the end it'll reveal the BIG SECRET. Hoo Hah!

Getting into the first chamber with the pedestal requires me to slay-i-fy more undead guards. Yeah, yeah, they are already dead. Can't kill something that's....WHOSE BLOG IS THIS?

I kill the undead guards, and climb up where a nifty mural is hanging.



There's a nice picture of..er...me taking over the world. NICE!

I proceed up some stairs, do some basic jumping across pedestals and end up in the room with the first lens.



Oh just twist the pedestal eh? This shouldn't take me any time at all!

Twisting it opens a door. That was easy! I run through a hallway, there are bars! But I shift into Shadow Realm form, and walk right through them. That means Green Meanies attack me, but after I hack at them with the Soul Reaver, I get to eat their souls to refill mine. I pour some hot sauce on that and call it lunch.

I find the circle that allows me to shift back to the material plane. More undead guards, I hack 'em, I wack 'em, I recruit them to the scientology table and they run away screaming. I win the fight! I climb up and slide a pillar into position, and turn another lens. This creates a shadow bridge. Nice!

Because walking on a shadow is always a good policy!

 Across the way, I aim up at the ceiling and blast a symbol of the Soul Reaver with my Laser Beam Not Explained to Me Power! It opens a hole in the wall, and I jump up and travel through to the next area.

 I fight more skeleton guys. I keep a couple of bones for my bulldog in Urbz, and head into a room with a big sundial. Cause giant-sized sundials are extremely useful in dark, dank, dungeons. Shoot the architect.

Gotta get one of these for my porch.

I turn the sundial. It causes the lens nearby to fire light into the hole. I jump into the hole, thinking I am now done-o! I discover that the lens on the ground has no lens in it! It's just an empty frame. DOH!

I am actually back in the room I started in, and after much scratching of the head and a useless run-around to see if I missed anything, I realize that the original pillar can shift around to open a doorway on the opposite side. AHA!!

I kill more skeletons and then have to shift back to the Shadow Realm since I have to walk through some more iron bars. More green meanies! These guys are all over the damn place. They look like a green version of the Grimace from the McDonald's clan. Anyhoo, I eat their souls. Could have used a little more salt this time. I get on the circle, transform back into the material plane.

I climb up a wall, and onto a platform. Then I have to transform back to the Shadow Realm, and the platform grows in height so that I can jump into the next area. Neato Mosquito!

I get on another circle, and we're back to the material plane. Pat Sajak appears and tells me I've won a trip to Honolulu for two weeks. I chop off his head!

I fire another of my bolts at another Reaver symbol in the ceiling. It opens up and then I move a column into position and turn the lens pedistal the right way. Wah Lah! It makes a shadow. I'm not impressed by that. I jump onto a nearby fallen pillar, and into the now open doorway to the next area.

And there's the mirror. I bag it, head back to the starting room through a passage, put the lens on, and BOOYAH! CUT SCENE!

Oops. Did I do that?

  The Soul Reaver now gains extra super Dark Element powers, and having scavenged what I needed to from this place, I head on out. I am met by the ancient vampire that was spying on me before. We chit chat, mostly about how it doesn't much matter who I am, I'm too late because the guy I need the information to complete my quest died.

Oh? When did he die?

Ancient vampires always have nice capes. You notice that?

500 Years Ago. Ah. Alrighty, then. I head out to go back to the Stronghold. Cause that's how I roll. I find the save point, and that is a checkmark.

____________________________________________________________________________

**INSANITY ALERT ** Those of you who have been reading the blog know, I am not happy with some of my Strategy Games. I have now acquired a fix for one of those issues, and am implementing the switch ASAP.

Consider: Europa Universalis III banished from the Insanity Project, and in its place my favorite Space Conquest game, Master of Orion 3.  Some may not like this game, as it is relatively slow in nature. I really like it. It's easy to pick up, and there are many diverse challenges inside.

Let's begin!

I choose a Humanoid Race for this game, but not Earthlings, because why play one of us when you can play one of them?

I choose the PSION race, they've got big heads, and therefore big brains! That'll help my research. In a game where researching the best technology is a critical factor, it helps to have a research advantage. I will have a mining disadvantage however, which will make my construction queues take longer. Too bad, but part of the fun of the game is using your strengths to overcome your weaknesses, and eventually I'll get nifty technology that will assist in my production.

Yeah, that's me alrighty. Handsome!




So, the first thing to do is take my two free scouts and Colony Ship and head to the nearest star system.
After that, let's set the production in my first two planets to ensure that the planets build mining facilities, bioharvesting (food), and other essential areas for growth.

I then set my research queue to only research Physical Production. I am at level 1. At level 5, there is the first mining technology, plus there is the Cruiser-size level of spaceship. You have to constantly research larger sizes of hulls in order to make bigger and badder ships. In this game, he who has the largest ships in the fleet, tends to win.

I don't have cool technologies yet so I skip the ship design area. This is one of the best features of the game in my opinion, as you can design the ship however you want as long as it meets the weight parameters. So mixing and matching weapons can make for some interesting ships down the line.

Vaht is my home system. With creatively named planets like Vaht I and Vaht 2 and Vaht 3...sometimes its best to go simple, ya know?

I set my planets' production queues so that they will start building planetary defenses, there are three to start the game with and I like to get my planets situated with those first, if possible.

Now its time to let a few turns pass and see what my happens. My colony ship and scouts head into the next solar system: Its called Sol. Imagine that! There's a couple of decent planets on it, I set one to be colonized, Within a few turns, the Colony Ship will land and take over the planet.

I find I have a mineral shortage issue early, so I investigate and set my two initial planets to build more mining areas. My economy is all out of whack too, so I head into that menu and lower all of my spending to near zero, except in the category of Anti-Rioting. So basically I invest 99 percent of my money in power hoses to spray the angry masses.

Once the game gets going and I've build entertainment spheres and put police units in the cities, they'll all settle down. But for now, I spend mad cash on anti-rioting and that should keep the people content.

After some more turns, I get some leaders for my cabinet.
These guys aren't bad at all. One of them will help the speed of the buildings, but people don't like them because they are ugly. HAHA! Yeaaah, build me an ugly city fast! Thanks, leader guy.

The other guy gives me pluses to my trading which means nothing now since I don't know anybody. However, there are 16 alien races in the game, so I'm bound to encounter plenty of extra-terrestrials soon enough.

My scouts fly about and I learn about three more solar systems in my neighborhood, marking good looking planets for eventual colonies later. Sixteen turns in, and I have played for an hour. That's a checkmark! So much better, don't you think?

_________________________________________________________________________

Time to give Killzone another go. This is my nemesis game for Round 3. I have attempted to pass this mission 12 times! Well, here we go!

Gah. 15 times. I will pass this mission! In comparison, it took me 45 times to pass the Hulk: Ultimate Destruction mission from Round 2. Fortunately, I am a Taurus. I will beat it. Yes, I will!

The Scoreboard: Round Three!

MIND TEASERS: 5 of 6 defeated
Chess Titans - 3
Gabriel Knight - 3
Mahjong Titans - 3
Sherlock Holmes - 2 (Amok in the Black Edelweis. In Sweden, I mean Switzerland!)
Spider Solitaire - 3
World Series of Poker - 3

STRATEGY: 5 of 6 defeated
Civilization 4 - 3
Gladius - 3
Master of Orion: 3
Space Empires - 2
Suikoden Tactics - 3
World of Mixed Martial Arts - 3

SHOOTER: 4 of 6 defeated
Crysis - 3
Fallout 3 - 3
Killzone - 2 (Note to self: Stop getting shot in the head.)
Medal Of Honor - European Assault: 3
Ring of Red - 2 (Note to self: It helps a lot if you hit the target)
Star Wars Battlefront - 3

PURE ACTION: 5 of 6 defeated
Devil May Cry - 3
God of War - 3
Gran Turismo 3 -  3
Madden Football - 2
Soul Reaver 2 - 3
Soul Caliber - 3

SWORD SLASHERS - 5 of 6 defeated
Champions: Return to Arms - 3
Dark Cloud - 3
Drakengard - 3
.Hack Infection - 3
 Oblivion: Elder Scrolls - 2
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams - 3

EPIC - FANTASY - 5 of 6 defeated
Dragon's Age Origin - 2
Dragon's Quest 8 - 3
Final Fantasy 12 - 3
Suikoden 3 - 3
Suikoden 4 - 3
Suikoden 5 - 3

EPIC - OTHER GENRES 4 of 6 defeated
Kingdom Hearts - 3
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - 3
Mercenaries - 2
Rogue Galaxy - 3
Star Ocean - 3
Xenosaga - 2  (Running through Menopause, I mean Merkabah)

ROCKSTAR MISSION BASED 5 of 6
Assassin's Creed - 2
GTA: Liberty City Stories - 3
Hulk: Ultimate Destruction - 3
Manhunt 2 - 3
The Warriors - 3
Urbz - 3

GAMES THAT GOT THE BOOT DUE TO SUCKAGE

STRATEGY
1) Europa Universalis III
SWORD SLASHERS
1) Shadows of Rome

SHOOTERS
1) Freedom Fighters